This is me! – Out of my comfort zone

If you have been reading my blog the last few months you will have heard all about my husband’s fabulous experiences working with The Real Full Monty team. This incredible group of people came together and have raised well over £30k for KMAC (a cancer charity). 

If you have missed my previous posts about this life changing show you can read them here:

What could you achieve?

Life Changing Moments

Well, the show was so successful that the theatre have asked them to recreate it next year and have given them the theatre for three nights this time. Amazing!

I know what you’re thinking, “surely she isn’t going to write a blog just to tell us that they are doing a show that’s miles from where I live again next year?”. 

No, no I’m not. There is much more to this post.

When I was younger I did a lot of performing; school productions, local amateur dramatic and youth theatre groups, choirs etc. I loved it. 

I even sang at The Palladium when I was in my twenties (it was one night but definitely the pinnacle of my performing career!). Since I had my children, and my illness though I haven’t done any theatre work and have only sung at a couple of family events

 

Honestly, I’m scared to. I have wanted to look into joining an amateur dramatic group locally for years now. My daughter is doing Performing Arts GCSE and loves it too and I would love to do a show with her. Unfortunately one of the many side effects of my acromegaly is chronic fatigue and I am scared to commit to months of rehearsals and let everyone down because my body doesn’t let me do it.

She’s still waffling on, does she have a point?  

Well, yes I do. You see I have agreed to be part of The Real Full Monty 2020. I will be dancing with the girls and overcoming so many fears I have lost count.  

Will my body cope with rehearsals and dancing?

Can I overcome some lingering body confidence issues?

Can I stay sane while rehearsing and performing whilst supporting my children through Y6 SATs and GCSEs?

I know I need to do this, but it is going to push me so far out of my comfort zone I won’t even be able to see my little zone of happy anymore!

I feel very fortunate to be able to take part in something so inspirational. I will hopefully have the opportunity to share a little about my acromegaly journey and the lasting effects that that has had on my body confidence and my emotional wellbeing. I will be spending lots of lovely time with my gorgeous hubby, Ian, because he is going to be documenting it all again. This of course means that not only do I get to spend time with him, I have the security of knowing that he will be there if I have a wibble. 

We are raising money for three incredible local charities, all of which are very close to my heart and some of my favourite people in the world are going to be dancing along side me. If ever the stars could align to tell me that this is something I need to do!    

There will undoubtedly be times when I need to reach into my relaxation toolbox to calm my nerves. I will no doubt spend many hours talking to my loved ones about the process and the issues it is raising for me. I have also bought a journal to start documenting all my thoughts and feelings to help me process everything, and remember the journey. 

I’m sure I will be giving you lots of updates as I take my tentative steps along this path, but I wanted to share how excited I am to be joining such an incredible team. 

There is another reason that I am writing on this subject this week. The dance will more than likely be to the amazing song from The Greatest Showman, This is me. This song is so significant to me. I wrote quite extensively about it when I saw the film (read my article), it feels like my anthem now.   

My sister and I are going to see the gorgeous Hugh Jackman (or Huge as he is known affectionately in our house!) on Monday. Imagine my excitement when it was announced last week that Keala Settle, the incredible lady who performed “This is me” in the film, is going to be joining him for his UK tour! I might actually get to see this life changing song performed live!  Follow me on social media for pictures from the concert and lots of pictures of my sister and I looking over excited!  

 

Deep Beauty

Across All Ages

DEEP BEAUTY International Blog Tour 2019

Today I have the great pleasure of being the host here in Stafford, England, United Kingdom on Day 9 of the Virtual Blog Tour of author Carolyn A. Brent, whose book, “Transforming Your Life through Self-Care: A Guide to Tapping into Your Deep Beauty and Inner Worth” is celebrating its big Worldwide book launch on May 8, 2019.

CAROLYN A. BRENT is an award-winning bestselling author and a National Physique Committee (NPC) Masters Women’s Figure Champion at age 60. She is an expert on both self-care and caregiving; she is the founder of Across All Ages and two nonprofit organizations, CareGiverStory Inc. and Grandpa’s Dream.  Carolyn’s written works is in the Library of Congress the libraries of Harvard, Stanford, Johns Hopkins, and numerous other medical centers and universities.

Yesterday, Carolyn visited Kathy Palokoff in Rochester, New York, USA where she interviewed Carolyn on the subject of Sabotaging discipline, Skill & Mindset and Long-term discipline.    http://bit.ly/2II0toz    

Today, I’d like to share with you a recent interview I had with Carolyn when I got to ask her on the subject of Getting through challenging times, Link between health & wealth  and Adapt our self-care. I hope you enjoy it.

Across All Ages

DEEP BEAUTY International Blog Tour 2019

Today I have the great pleasure of being the host here in Stafford, England, United Kingdom on Day 9 of the Virtual Blog Tour of author Carolyn A. Brent, whose book, “Transforming Your Life through Self-Care: A Guide to Tapping into Your Deep Beauty and Inner Worth” is celebrating its big Worldwide book launch on May 8, 2019.

CAROLYN A. BRENT is an award-winning bestselling author and a National Physique Committee (NPC) Masters Women’s Figure Champion at age 60. She is an expert on both self-care and caregiving; she is the founder of Across All Ages and two nonprofit organizations, CareGiverStory Inc. and Grandpa’s Dream.  Carolyn’s written works is in the Library of Congress the libraries of Harvard, Stanford, Johns Hopkins, and numerous other medical centers and universities.

Yesterday, Carolyn visited Kathy Palokoff in Rochester, New York, USA where she interviewed Carolyn on the subject of Sabotaging discipline, Skill & Mindset and Long-term discipline.    http://bit.ly/2II0toz    

Today, I’d like to share with you a recent interview I had with Carolyn when I got to ask her on the subject of Getting through challenging times, Link between health & wealth  and Adapt our self-care. I hope you enjoy it.

Kate Beddow: When our loved ones are going through really challenging times how can we care for ourselves while still supporting them?

Carolyn A. Brent: First, I would like to say, THANK YOU to the caregivers, our unsung heroes. Because of you, our world is a better place.

It’s known that caregivers are quite organized in planning for caring for loved ones– but, it’s essential for you to schedule “me” time too. To get your “me” time, you’ve got to reach out and “ask” for help. This is where you start: ask your family members, friends, local church groups, and caregiving organizations.

Also, contact Medicare, State, and Federal agencies that have the knowledge, and the resources to help you with respite, financial, and other caregiving programs designed to help you. 

Keep in mind; every state is different, so be proactive and contact the Department of Aging in your state. Remember, when you ask for help—it’s a self-care action, which will help you while you are caring for your loved one.  Also, visit: CareGiverStory.com Learn more about the resources you may not know you have.

 

Kate Beddow: Do you believe that there is a direct link between health and wealth?

Carolyn A. Brent: Without a doubt! There is no replacement for having good health. Health is your wealth, without being in good health, how can one possibly enjoy their wealth?  

Early in my pharmaceutical career at a conference, I met a young, beautiful and vivacious physician; she was a thought-leader amongst her peers in the medical industry. She was married, a mother of three young kids, and she was a caregiver to her aging parent.  After the conference, I had the opportunity to ask her, “How do you manage to keep balance in your life when you have so many responsibilities?   

Her answer was quite simple; this is what she told me. “I give myself one hour every day to just take care of “me.”  I do not share my “me “time with anyone. That’s my time to exercise, meditate, relax, sleep, and do whatever I need to do for me. That’s how I refuel my self-care engine.”  She emphasized, “When I take care of me—that is when I can take care of my family, patients, and do what I love for my community.” 

She then said, “Always remember; take care of yourself first.” Boy, to this day, I have never forgotten her powerful words of wisdom.  Learn more: Chapter 13 The Real Connection between Health and Money.

Kate Beddow: How do we need to adapt our self-care as we go through our lives?

Carolyn A. Brent: We should all start looking at self-care as our only option. We must be our “own” self-care advocates for our emotional, financial, and spiritual well-being. While on my self-care journey, I discovered an important formula that I would like to share with you: Fierce Determination + Laser-Focused Actions + Bottomless Discipline = Deep Beauty + Inner Worth.©  When practicing self-care, remember self-care does not have an end date. Learn more: Chapter 16 What to Do When Your Self-Care Engine Runs Dry. 

———-

I hope you enjoyed this interview with Carolyn A. Brent and that you’ll check out her book on May 8, 2019:

Join us on the 2019 International DEEP BEAUTY Telesummit: May 6th, 7th & 8th 

Details here: http://bit.ly/2W3K69a

Transforming Your Life through Self-Care: 

A Guide to Tapping into Your Deep Beauty and Inner Worth”

 SPECIAL OFFER direct from Roman & Littlefield

30% DISCOUNT OFFER OFF LIST PRICE PLEASE ORDER USING THIS CODE: RLFANDF30 978-1-5381-2084-2 • Hardback $28.00 list price (discount price $19.60) 978-1-5381-2085-9 • eBook $26.50 list price (discount price $18.55) For more information, please contact our Customer Service Dept. at special.sales@rowman.com or by phone at 800-462-6420 ext. 3023. 

Buy Direct from Publisher  at their discount special.  

Option 2

Amazon Regular Price: https://amzn.to/2YqFQTj

Catch Carolyn’s Book Trailer… click here!

Thanks for reading! Please share your comments and thoughts below. I love reading your feedback.

AND… be sure to join Carolyn A. Brent tomorrow in Delray Beach, Florida, USA with a special message of REJOICING & Celebrating DEEP BEAUTY on the day of her official book launch.  http://bit.ly/2GvJep5 

DEEP BEAUTY Wellness Retreat Summer 2019

Life Changing Moments

Three weeks ago an event took place that transformed my life, I suspect forever. What’s really strange is that I wasn’t really even involved in it. 

In my last blog I talked about how important it can be to make the most of opportunities when they come your way. At that point I was marvelling at the transformations I had seen in the cast and crew of The Real Full Monty. I had watched these amazing people transform from shy and insecure to radiant, confident, inspirational beings. 

Little did I realise when I wrote last about this project how much our lives would change as a result of this one event.

So what has happened that is so dramatic?

Well, it has been profound, for me at least. I will attempt to explain.

 

This is Ian. If you have been reading my blog or following me on social media for a while you will know that he is my husband and my world.

Over the years he has grown and transformed so much. This photo captures perfectly the latest stage in this transformation, thank you Sam Carpenter Photography. One of the cast hit the nail on the head when she said he was the “proud father of the show” his face here radiates pride and joy at what the cast are achieving. It is one of my favourite photos, ever. 

But what has this got to do with life changing moments?

 

Well, this show started a ripple.

These photos were taken last Saturday, they were taken by our friend Evie, while we were out celebrating Sam (the amazing photographer)’s birthday.  

What has THIS got to do with life changing moments? 

Well, a lot actually. You see we were discussing while we were getting ready to go out when the last time was that we had asked someone to have the children over night so we could go out as a couple and meet up with friends.  

We can’t remember. We have both gone out with friends while the other has stayed at home. We have very occasionally asked someone to come sit with the children so we could go out, but it has always been so last minute that we have gone for a meal just the two of us, not with anyone else. We had a weekend in Paris as a birthday gift for my 40th from my in laws, which was lovely, but it is almost 3 years ago now and we have had very few nights out together since.

In the last three weeks we have been out together, as a couple, without children, on an evening, three times. We have had countless daytime dates and we are enjoying spending time together so much. We are still enjoying quality time with the children, but we have made ourselves a promise that we are going to make the effort to go out together as a couple, in the evening more.

 

This transformation is about so much more than going out though.

Look at our faces in the photos above. Now look at this photo from our holiday a couple of years ago. 

I loved this photo, I thought it was a really happy photo of the two of us. But look how much happier we look in the recent photos

It feels as though a light has been switched back on inside us and we are filled with a new found appreciation of life and our relationship.

We have been together for 18 years this year, and I feel like I did when we first got together. 

Life as a couple is never linear. It is not a simple path. It is a rollercoaster. It has twists, turns, challenges and triumphs. During our time together we have overcome serious physical health challenges, parenting challenges, financial worries, grief… and that’s just the tip of the iceberg!

We have also been blessed to have three beautiful children, amazing parents, incredible friends, fabulous days out, heart warming parents evenings, holidays with loved ones and pure pride and joy watching our children grow and achieve their own successes. 

 

When I was younger I remember my lovely Dad talking to me about  a family friend who was going through a divorce at the time. I was asking what had gone wrong. Dad, in his wisdom, said that nothing  had gone wrong. They had just stopped loving each other. He was really candid and said that he and Mum had just been really lucky because they had always managed to grow together as they had changed as they had got older, “not everyone is so lucky”, he said.  

These words have come to me many times over the years, and he probably doesn’t even remember the conversation. It’s so true though. Over the years our marriage has had some rocky times. Times I wasn’t sure we could get through. Times I considered walking away. Fortunately, just as we were getting to that point, we always managed to pull back together. Life would get really difficult and something would happen to make us remember how fortunate we are to have each other and give us a new found appreciation of our marriage.  

I believe you can have several marriages to the same person without ever getting divorced. I know that we are on maybe marriage number three or four now. Every time we have had something dramatic to cope with, we reinvent ourselves, and our relationship deepens, and grows more beautiful than ever. 

It is easy when life is busy and you have; children, family, work, a home to look after, to lose track of the important things. We get busy doing and forget to be. 

I have always loved my husband but it is often easy when you are busy and tired to scale back the little actions that can make your relationship really special. Whether it is remembering to give each other a kiss before you leave, making a cuppa in bed, paying them a complement or just generally supporting each other.  Taking time to really invest some time and energy into your relationship is never wasted, it will, in most cases, reap rewards and you will get back all that you put in and more. 

Sometimes, life can give you a little nudge to make these changes – like giving you a reason to go out as a couple and reminding you how much you need that – but sometimes you have to make a decision yourself. 

Yes we had the initial nudge and we went out to the after show party together, but we then made the decision to extend that impact and make sure that we were able to also go to the birthday party. We have committed to going out together much more often. We will make this happen.

Life has changed and it is happier and healthier because of one event, one decision. You just never know when life might give you that nudge in the right direction. Keep looking out for the signs. 

 

ADVANCE – a review

It finally arrived! We finally “ADVANCE”-d in Telford last Monday. After almost two years of planning and dreaming how this event would happen; where, when, what we would cover, it all came together beautifully.

If you have ever organised an event of this scale you will completely understand the amount of work involved in getting something like this from conception to birth but we are all on such a high because it was AMAZING!

Our incredible attendees travelled for hours, stayed over in hotels and had very long days in order to be able to join us but I know from their feedback that they are so glad they did. I think everyone is still buzzing a week on from the incredible energy in the room. We laughed, cried and shifted some big issues together… oh and also ate the best chocolate tart I think I have ever eaten (yes I know I’m not supposed to eat chocolate tart but it was my reward!).

 

We always knew that the day would be powerful (that’s power full – thank you Taz for reminding me of the difference), but I think because we each use our techniques and strategies every day and have done for years we forget the impact that they have when you first discover them.

It’s an interesting thing isn’t it knowledge?

We somehow assume that everyone has the same understanding, the same interpretation, the same talents we do. The more naturally we do something, the more it is part of our life, the more we take it for granted that “everyone does/knows that”.

So often it isn’t true.

There were some really significant light bulb moments for many of the attendees, including us! Yes, we were as excited about the event as anyone. We have known each other for years, we have attended each other’s talks and events, but we know from experience that even when we plan what we are each going to cover that there are always little alleyways from the main path, and without exception there is always a take away from these little meanderings.

Thank you!

We had so much fun and despite the stress of organising such a big event everything went pretty much without issue. This was in part due to my amazing husband, Ian, who stepped in and saved the day several times by correcting issues we were left with my the PA provider (thank goodness he had brought his sound engineer head as well as his videographer head!). Ian you are a star, thank you for all your help with the promotional videos and for coming along and filming the day for us.

An extra special “thank you” also needs to go to Asha Thornton-Clearwater, Taz’s wife, who was incredible introducing the day with style and grace, and she helped us so much with publicising the event. Thanks Asha, I don’t know where we’d be without you on Team ADVANCE.

We would also like to thank Telford Couriers who stepped in and saved the day but delivering the additional food we bought to a local homeless shelter Maninplace. When we originally planned the day we booked it for October but for personal reasons we had to move it later in the year and we knew that that would have an impact on attendance because we were getting so close to Christmas. Because we had booked for larger numbers we still had to pay for the food for the additional number, so we asked the hotel to make that food into packed lunches and Martin from Telford Couriers very kindly offered to collect the food and deliver it for us. Thank you Martin, you are a star.

The biggest thank you of the day has to go to the attendees though. Thank you for coming along, for believing in the power of three and for trusting us enough to be open and vulnerable. You are amazing and I can’t wait to watch your journey now.

It was a truly incredible day, Jo talked about how to stay calm and make sure you clean your wellies. Then I talked about staying calm like a Jedi, Taz showed us how to Unleash our Awesome and then we ended the day with one of my favourite extreme empowerment exercises… a glass walk!

All in all it was a powerful and life changing day.

Do you want to know more and make sure that you are first to find out about the three events we are already planning for 2019? Check out my ADVANCE page or sign up for my newsletter these are going to be such popular events and we’ve learned even more about how we want to make the day MORE powerful and MORE impactful. We are always striving for better and this is going to grow and grow.

Thanksgiving – a celebration for the World

Depending upon where you are when you are reading this the word “Thanksgiving” will have very different associations. 

If you are in the US you are no doubt in full flow with your preparations for Thursday; the pumpkin pies will be baking and the turkey defrosting as I type.

If though, you are elsewhere in the world, you probably see Thanksgiving as a purely American celebration, after all, what relevance does it have to you in your house in the south of France?

Well, perhaps more than you might think. Let me give you my take on this day and see if I can convince you of its relevance for everyone. 

 

What is the history of Thanksgiving?

 Well, it is fundamentally a Harvest festival. A celebration of all the food nature has provided to help us get through the cold winter months. Most cultures and religions have a variation on this festival. It is a very primitive need to be appreciative of the food we have to nourish us and of course that is much more scarce or non-existent during the winter months. So we say thank you to whatever higher power we believe in for providing for our family through those dark and cold days.

The festival celebrated in the US takes its origins from the pilgrims who landed in Plymouth in the early 17th Century and the first meal they had with the Native Americans. Families decorate the home, cook a wonderful meal and bake seasonal goodies such as pumpkin pie and minced pies.

More importantly though, families take time to think about what they are grateful for. School children do lots of work in the lead up to Thanksgiving about gratitude and often perform random acts of kindness. Families often sit round the table and each share what they are thankful for before tucking into a feast of turkey, potatoes, stuffing, vegetables, cranberry sauce… yum!

 

Sounds like a Christmas dinner to me, as a Brit, I would definitely be feeling grateful for such a delicious meal with all my family around me!

The meal may be very similar to a traditional Christmas meal but the rest of the day is very different. In many families now Christmas has become all about indulgence and presents. We often forget to be grateful for all the wonderful things we have, that we are with our loved ones, that we have food during the coldest, bleakest time of year. 

“Thanksgiving day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude”

E P Powell

In a world where consumerism and waste seems to dominate, let’s appreciate this celebration of gratitude and family. Let’s all take time to eat together, to feel truly thankful that we have food to eat, a warm home and people who love us. Take the time to think of those who do not have all the amazing things we have. Perhaps consider doing a reverse advent calendar for a local food bank or taking a donation to a homeless shelter. Just check on an elderly relative. Think of others and help someone else feel really cared for.

That is what Thanksgiving is all about, for me anyway. What does it mean to you?

 

5 Mindful Minutes

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