Do you take time to reflect?

September is the start of my new year. For as long as I can remember I have worked in academic years.

I was at school, the new year started in September, that was when you started with a new teacher in a new class, new school even.

Then I went to college to do my teacher training. Again new year started in September.

When I started teaching I then had my new class and started a new year in September.

Now I am a Mum, my children start new school years and change class or school in September and of course I work in schools.

This is deeply engrained programming.

I once tried to use a yearly diary. 

It was disastrous. My brain just doesn’t work in calendar years. So now I have accepted that my year starts in the Autumn and concludes in the Summer.

I am an academic diary girl and I always will be.

But why am I telling you this?

Well, I have been reflecting. That’s what we do at the start of a new year isn’t it? We set out what we want to achieve, changes we are going to make and where we want to be at the end of the year.

My new year is no different. I have set my targets for the year, I have created my vision board and I am raring to go.

Part of this process is reflection and acknowledging how far I have come too.

Three and a half years ago I conceived my Calmer Classrooms business. At first I visited schools, delivered training and lessons, but I was unclear what the future of the business was.

Two and a half years ago I began creating lesson plans for teachers so that they could lead mindfulness and relaxation sessions and I started building my newsletter.

Eighteen months ago I began creating my whole school mindfulness programme. I would spend days in my office, creating resources, building my whole school resources, planning how I was going to help schools in as many practical ways as possible.

I was always busy but I was busy doing things in my office. I could do my work at 9am on a Monday or 8pm on a Saturday, as long as I got them done. My friends would get in touch and I could always meet for a catch up. I never missed a school run.

A year ago I had just released my whole school wellbeing package and my teacher resource package. I was amazed every time I had a school sign up or a teacher buy my resources. It was so incredibly satisfying to know that something I had created was being used in schools, not just in the UK, but thanks to the power of the internet, schools around the world were using my programmes and teaching my lessons.

Now I am out in schools, colleges, businesses, networking every week. I never have a week in my office alone. I still take time to create resources but I spend much more time helping in a physical way too.

I used to wonder if my ideas for Calmer Classrooms would ever take off. Whether schools would ever be interested.

It turns out they are.

I have to remember to look back at everything I have done to get here. All the lessons I’ve learned. I have to remember to give myself a pat on the back too!

Do you take time to look back at your journey?

Relfection is so important for learning about ourselves and also for seeing our achievements. So often we are so busy living life we forget to appreciate all the amazing things we have done along the way.

As Kierkegaard points out though, life can only be lived in one direction. Getting the balance between reflection and planning is the key when it comes to achieving in the long term.

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards”

Soren Kierkegaard

Philosopher

Do you take time to plan and reflect?

You might be feeling like you haven’t achieved anything. I guarantee that if you stop and think about where you were and where you are now you will be surprised.

There may be areas of your life that you aren’t satisfied with. That’s ok. That’s where the planning comes in.

Take the time to look back on the last year. Then get really clear on where you want to be in a year’s time and really focus on how you can get there.

Maybe you want to earn more money?

Perhaps spending more time with loved ones is top of your list.

It could be that you want to get more healthy; eat better, do more exercise… Whatever you want to achieve picture yourself achieving it. Create a vision board and put it somewhere you will see it regularly.

Get really clear on exactly what you want.

You aren’t going to move house, you are going to move to the house of your dreams with a woodland at the bottom of the garden on top of a hill. It has 4 bedrooms and a study, room for friends and family to come and stay, it is near your favourite restaurant and you can still get to your children easily. Be REALLY clear. Find a photo of the house (or whatever it is you want) and believe it is coming, believe it’s already yours you are just waiting for the right time to move.

When I looked back on my vision board from last year I was amazed: 

  • New car – tick
  • Holiday to Italy – tick
  • More speaking gigs – tick
  • More time for self care – tick
  • Get more organised – tick
  • Send out my newsletters more regularly – tick

In fact there are only two things on there that I haven’t achieved and they were big things which were always intended to be more long term. But they are coming, I know they are, progress is already being made.

Don’t underestimate the power of putting your energy into something and believing it will happen. Our thoughts are energy and just by believing you start the process. Don’t worry about how, just make the decision and start working towards your goals and watch what happens.

I can’t wait to see what this year brings!

Autumn – my favourite time of year for self care

Autumn is my favourite time of year. I say that every year, but I know that it’s a half truth. I LOVE Autumn. I love warm jumpers, I love new boots and crunchy leaves on the ground. I love the colours, the chill in the air and I LOVE Halloween and Bonfire Night. I love Autumn.

I also know that I say that whatever season is just beginning is my favourite. When we get the first frost and the car is covered in beautiful patterns and you can see your breath when you go for walks, Winter is my favourite season. When the first signs of life appear and the world get so green, Spring is my favourite season.  Then of course the warmth of Summer comes round and I get my flip flops out and work in the beautiful sunshine in the garden I love Summer the best.

I’m fickle I guess. I prefer grateful! I’m grateful that I live in a country with such diverse seasons. Where every few months we get a renewed sense of appreciation for the world we live in.

 There is something particularly cosy and wonderful about Autumn though. I love blankets and hot drinks and sitting with a good book in front of a fire. The word “Hygge” which has become better known over the last few years, was created for Autumn I think.

Cosy, contented, twinkly lights, snuggles with loved ones and everything that makes you feel heart happy.

What is self care?

Put simply, self care is making sure you prioritise your needs, at least some of the time. It is that little nudge to make sure you are feeding your own soul and not just looking after everyone around you.

Here are a few ideas

  • Taking a bath
  • Reading a book
  • Going for a walk
  • Meeting friends for a coffee
  • Doing some exercise; running, dancing, golf, football…
  • Creating; painting, crafting, knitting, pottery, woodwork…
  • Cooking
  • Watching a film
  • the list goes on and on

You get the idea.

Do you see how perfectly all these self care activities lend themselves to Autumn? 

Is there anything more perfect than a walk through the woods with the orange and rust coloured leaves crunching under your feet? That slight chill in the air. Maybe you go alone, with a loved one, the dog or with the kids. Whatever makes you really happy. We used to go Dragon Hunting on Cannock Chase when my children were little, they loved it. Coming back with stones that they said were dragon eggs and running through the brown ferns breathing their own fire as they ran.

Another firm favourite is a long soak in a hot bath with a good book. I have been known to spend 3 hrs in the bath. I know! I love it, especially when it is cold outside, there is no better way to warm yourself through. Even better if you put some Epsom salts or sea salt in and a few drops of lavender oil. Magic. It just isn’t appealing in the hot summer months. 

 

 

I encourage you to take a few moments to think about all the ways you can make your life more Hygge this season. How can you care for yourself better? What do you love doing that would be a real treat this Autumn?

Make a conscious effort to change your approach to your daily routine and incorporate more self care. You won’t be sorry.

Self care is not the same as selfish! 

Self care is about refuelling so that you can continue to be of service to those you love and live your best life.

Here are a few other blogs I’ve written about self care if you want to do more reading:

The Importance of self care

The Importance of caring for our energetic self

Taking time out – why adults need time out too

Do you need help changing your mindset?

Mindset is a word I hadn’t really encountered until I was an adult. I wondered whether it was just that it isn’t something children discuss or really need to understand. But upon research I discovered that actually it wasn’t a word used until the 1990’s, when Carol Dweck used the word in a publication. I was, pretty much, an adult by the 90’s, so that explained that.

What is mindset? 

The Oxford English Dictionary defines mindset as the established set of attitudes held by someone”. We often talk about fixed mindsets and growth mindsets in education. These are, in brief, a belief that we have an inability to learn or change attitudes or, conversely, a growth mindset is about developing your ability to learn from mistakes and believe that you can become more intelligent or skilled. 

When I was at school it was believed that once your brain had formed and you had set certain neurological pathways up as your go to approach or attitude to something, that was it, you couldn’t change it. We have now discovered a wonderful thing called neuroplasticity. We know that it is possible to reroute those messages and alter our reactions. It takes practice and consistency to rewire our brains but it is possible.

This is great news!

It means that we no longer have to blame our ancestors for our pessimism, or lack of drive. We can now learn to be happy, to be calm to be more motivated and driven. Whatever we want to do is possible if we put in the effort.

It is never a quick fix but often there are simple, easily repeatable exercises which over time help our brains to respond differently to situations and triggers and achieve the results we want.

So, if you respond to feeling anxious or worried by being short tempered with the people around you, you can, over time, learn to respond in a more positive way, and learn to eliminate the feelings of anxiety, or at least deal with them quickly and easily.

Sounds simple doesn’t it?

Well, no it isn’t, but anything worth doing takes time and effort.

Imagine the impact feeling calm and confident all the time would have on your life, your family, and your business. 

What if you knew how to react, and what do to quiet that inner voice every time imposter syndrome raised its ugly head?

Imagine no more! My new workbook and MP3 pack, Change your Mindset and Become the Force, can help you to do just that.

It won’t happen over night, although you should see immediate improvement, but over time, by listening to the meditations and practicing the exercises in the workbook you will slowly change your automatic responses to these, often crippling, stories you are telling yourself.

Read more about this programme before you decide.

Are you ready to change your mindset?

 

I’m ready!

The Meaning of Life

Today I am “the answer to life, the universe and everything” according to Douglas Adams. 

I have never had an issue with with birthdays. Age is just a number as far as I’m concerned, and I really mean it. I genuinely feel blessed to be alive and to have reached another birthday.

It may sound like a cliche but it’s true.

As you may know there was a time when that wasn’t guaranteed (not that it ever is!). 11 years ago I was led to believe that my life now would be very different; constant unbearable pain, physically deformed, no energy and unable to have any more children.

Instead I am happy, my condition is under control, I am back to looking like myself and I have my beautiful, almost 10 year old son. 

Today, as I turn 42, I am feeling more grateful than I have ever felt in my life.

My children are happy, healthy, amazing mini-humans who not only saved their pocket money to buy me thoughtful presents from Harry Potter Studios, but made their own card and made the most delicious brunch.

My husband had a clock that we fell in love with when we visited Italy recently sent over for my present. My friends and family have really been there for me during what has been a rollercoaster 24hrs. I had my injection yesterday, we went to see Mamma Mia: Here I go again and I laughed til I cried and cried because I was heartbroken, I found out some devastating news and my family and friends said and did some truly incredible things to support both me and one of my closest friends and her family at a very difficult time.

I cried tears of sadness and tears of joy within moments, not just once, but all day.

As we get older it is easy to focus on the negatives.

Society encourages it.

The wrinkles we are led to believe are bad. The grey hairs we are encouraged to colour in. We are constantly told that youth is good and age is bad.

Why?

What is so wrong with getting older? We all get older.

Would you want to go back to having the experiences you were having when you were in your teens?

Believing the things you believed?

Feeling the insecurities you felt?

I wouldn’t!

Given a choice between having the body I had then and the experiences and emotions I had then and being me as I am now, wrinkles, stretch marks, grey hairs and all, I know what I would choose. I feel honoured to be growing older. I love that I have 40+years of experiences, knowledge and memories to look back over.

There is no size 12, wrinkle free, body that can top the wisdom and memories of 20 years of life. 

 

I don’t agree with George Carlin, I don’t think he does either for the record, I think age is a very small price to pay for wisdom.

Wisdom is something to be treasured.

Age is something to be cherished. 

“Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom”

George Carlin

Comedian

As we take steps along this journey, we are all ultimately heading for the same destination, which ever road we take.

I have been fortunate enough to have some wonderful companions on my journey.

I have also experienced the heartbreak of losing friends and family members for as long as I can remember. Not just people older than me. People who completed their journey way too soon. Friends who left us before the even finished school. Family members who should have had many more years of memory making.

I was nearly added to that number. I am acutely aware that my journey could have been much shorter and much less enjoyable.

I make an effort every single day to find at least 10 things I am grateful for. I have a little pile of notebooks next to my bed where I have written my daily gratitude every day for years now.

“Today I am grateful for… I am glad I… I am thankful for…”.

Some days it’s a struggle. Some days it feels impossible and other days it is easy and I write twenty. I make the effort to do it every day thought remind myself how lucky I am.

My birthday is always a day for counting my blessings.

Today is no exception. I am thankful for the amazing people in my life. For the opportunities I am given. For the places I have seen the experiences I have had and I am grateful for you.

Yes you.

I am grateful that you have taken the time to read my inner babblings. That you have found my website and decided to delve deeper. That you are taking time to get to know me better. Thank you.

I may not actually be the answer to life, the universe and everything but I hope you have taken something away from reading this. 

I hope you have a wonderful day.

 

 

Taking a leap!

Leaping isn’t something you will often see me doing I’ll be honest! I am trying to do it more often though.

Not long ago I wrote a post about achieving your potential which touched on this subject a bit. I have been trying to say yes to things and then working out how I am going to actually be brave enough to do it after.

I know that I am not alone in liking the comfort of familiarity.

It’s so easy to only agreed to do things that you have done many times before and know you are capable of, but there are a few problems with this life.

By definition it means that you don’t experience anything new. This is sad. There are so many amazing experiences out there waiting for you to sample them, why would you only ever do what you have always done.

 So why is this on my mind this week?

Well, I like to draw inspiration for my blogs from my recent experiences. We have been having lots of new experiences as a family and well and truly leaping out of our comfort zones!

Last week we went to Italy for my best friend’s wedding. 

My son (9) has never been abroad and my daughter hasn’t since she started school (she’s now 14) so this was a huge deal for them.

In order to get to Italy we had to go in an aeroplane, my husband HATES flying, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him being there for such an amazing and memorable week.

In addition to this my son is very close to my husband at the moment so because Dad was scared, he was too.

 

While we were in Italy the children tried foods they claim they hate at home and loved them, they went to places they have never been before and experienced Italian life to the full.

It wasn’t just my plane-hating husband and children who had to take a leap out of their comfort zones though.

I volunteered to drive one of the hire cars we needed (there were 10 of us altogether so we needed two). I love driving but I hadn’t driven a left hand drive for over 10 years.

I was also asked to do a reading in the church service for my friends Callie and Emilio. I do a lot of public speaking but I’m not catholic, and I’m not usually recorded and it is rarely for something so memorable!

I also agreed to sing at the reception.

I know! But this is all part of my saying yes to opportunities thing. I used to do a lot of singing but haven’t done much at all apart from in the car since I had the children. This is my best friend in the world though, I’m not going to say no when it’s for her big day!

This not only meant singing though, it also meant meeting the musician who was playing at the reception the day before in Florence at his studio for a very quick rehearsal. Finding new places, meeting new people, singing in front of total strangers, all things with the potential to induce panic once upon a time.

I’m not going to pretend that I’m cool about it all now, cause I still have butterflies and what ifs, but nothing like I did once upon a time. 

I try to do something everyday that is out of my comfort zone whether it is making that phone call, contacting a potential client or doing an extra 5 minutes on my rowing machine.

I do think that the more we do it, the easier it gets.

I have heard about 2 people in the last week who are at extremes of this attitude. A man in his 70s who has never owned a passport and will barely leave his home town. Think of all the amazing opportunities he is missing. All the major events, all the sights, sounds, smells…

“There are many talented people who haven’t fulfilled their dreams because they over thought it, or they were too cautious, and were unwilling to make the leap of faith.”

 

James Cameron

Film Director

At the opposite end of the scale though, my friend’s daughter turned 16 yesterday and she did a skydive to celebrate! She loved it! What an amazing memory to have made and an incredible way to celebrate her birthday. Now that is literally taking a leap!

Don’t be one of the talented people who doesn’t make our mark on the world because you don’t take that leap of faith, that step out of your comfort zone.

 

How can you exercise your courage and step out of your comfort zone today?

 

If you are intrigued about my singing you can watch the video below. Apologies for the quality of the video it was taken on a phone but you get the idea. (I’m also really cross with myself for holding the words but we had only sung it through 3 times with the guitarist and it threw me a bit 🙁 ). Adding this video to the post is my “stepping out of my comfort zone” for today so please be gentle with me.

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