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How many decisions do you make a day?

 It is thought that an average adult makes between 33,000 and 35,000 decisions a day. This is an average, some people have to make many more. Some decisions may be small and simple to make; What socks shall I wear? Do I need to have a shower? What shall I have for breakfast? You can see how that number is so large when you break your day down into decisions like this, can’t you? 

These decisions are simple and often immaterial. Rarely will wearing the wrong socks have an impact on your day. Sometimes though, those big decisions come along; Should I accept the job? Which school should I send my child to? Should I have this medical procedure? 

How do you cope when you have a big decision to make? Are you good at decision making? I would consider myself to be quite good at making decisions in an emergency situation, I am pretty good at keeping my cool and doing what needs to be done. 

The times when I find it hardest are when I have more time to think about big decisions. Being a parent and business owner, most of the big decisions I have to make, aren’t urgent decisions, but sometimes they feel really big. As a parent for example, I know that many of the most valuable lessons we learn are through challenges we face. That’s when we really find out who we are, I know that this is the case because I have lived through my own series of difficult decisions. Watching your toddler struggle to get the shape in the shape sorter and get frustrated is one thing. Watching your grown up child make decisions about relationships. friendships, jobs, their life away from you, is a whole other level. The temptation to jump in an help is huge in both situations, but it is important to step back and let them work things out, otherwise they don’t learn the life skills they need to survive away from you.

Analysis Paralysis

When we have too many things to think about we can struggle to process anything. We often go round and round on the same thoughts without making any progress. 

We need help to break out of this pattern. The first thing to do is to take some big, slow deep breaths. The first thing that happens when we are worried or scared is that our heart rate increases and we go into fight, flight or freeze. When this happens all our problem solving and decision making skills are abandoned in favour of survival functions like running and hitting. Stop, and breathe. This being to calm the body and makes problem solving and decision making slightly easier again. I would always recommend talking to loved ones. Just talking through things is so helpful, getting other trusted opinions, other perspectives, reassurance. 

difficult decisions blog

This is where journaling can really be beneficial. By writing all these thoughts out our brain can’t distinguish between those things which we have written to say to someone and those that we have just written down for ourselves. We work through things and discover answers to questions. 

Writing to make decisions is instinctive

As a teenager, and we all know how challenging those years can be, I instinctively wrote out my challenges and decisions. It didn’t dawn on me what I was doing until years later. Not only did I keep a diary, but I had several trusted pen friends who I wrote to weekly. These letters to my friends were my very simple juvenile journaling and counselling combined. Have you ever unconsciously used writing to help you make decisions or process difficult times?

Difficult Decisions blog

How do you journal?

Just start writing about the situation you have to make a decision about, and see what appears on the page. You may be surprised what appears. Keep writing and writing and find out what you really think. You may discover that there are considerations you hadn’t thought of yet, or that there are things you haven’t take into account until now.

Pick up a pen and notebook or piece of paper and start writing. 

The benefits of journaling are huge and you will reduce your anxiety around the issue you are writing about and even lower your blood pressure as you write. It really is an incredibly beneficial habit to form.

Just give it a try, you might be surprised by the results.

 

 If you haven’t tried journaling before and don’t know how to start, you can find out more.