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Journaling Through Challenging Times

by | Jun 12, 2023 | Uncategorised

Journaling for exam stress blog

Challenging times are inevitable. They are part of life, without those challenges we wouldn’t fully appreciate the good times. 

Often people assume that because I have such a vast toolbox of mental health strategies that I must be happy and stress free all the time. The reality of course is that I am human. I am no more immune to the stresses of life than anyone else. I do have lots of “go to” techniques that help me move through those emotions, perhaps quicker than some people, but I am not immune. 

Let’s be honest here, the reason I learned all these techiques in the first place was to deal with my own depression and anxiety. I struggled terribly throughout my twenties and just as I thought I was getting a grasp on things perimenopause came along and reminded me that these are issues that never completely go away.

I realised at this point that I had very cleverly constructed a life for myself where I was surrounded by loving and thoughtful people, I had created a career for myself that brings me joy and I am fortunate that I have a happy marriage and wonderful children. This is a fairly dangerous bubble to live in though because it means that it is easy to get comfortable in here and then every so often something, or someone, comes along with a large pin and pops it. Whether it is an unexpected bill, like the car needing work or an appliance around the house breaking, or an unavoidable issue with someone in my life it tips me off my comfy equilibrium and I have to deal with it like anyone else. 

How does journaling help?

Well, journaling is the perfect way to work through all those thoughts that fly around your head as soon as those challenging issues rear their ugly heads. Whether it is helping you to work through the solution to a problem or processing the emotions you are feeling about a friendship or family member causing you pain, journaling is a powerful and insightful technique. 

change

How do you journal to navigate challenging times?

This is the big question, isn’t it? Well, it is so simple you won’t believe it. 

  • Just write.
  • Grab a pen or pencil and a notebook or some paper, start writing and keep writing. Write until you have nothing else to say, and then write some more. If you run out of things to write, just write “I don’t know what to write” until something else comes into your head, it always does. 
  • Write about how you are feeling.
  • DO NOT FILTER! Write everything that comes into your head. This is important. Just allow a stream of consciousness onto the page. If you are worried someone will read it, destroy it after you have written it. It is the writing that is important, you never need to read what you have written. 

Do I have to write by hand?

No. You can type or even dictate if you struggle to write by hand. However, there has been research to show that writing by hand connects parts of your brain that aren’t connected through other forms of communication. If you can manage to type without filtering though by all means type and of course, if you are unable to write by hand then use whatever method you usually use to record things.

I have worked through so many challenging times over the years by writing things down. As a teenager I used to pour my heart out into letters to my many penfriends, I have kept diaries and journals and even when I write articles like this I am using a similar process. I write in a very intuitive way and rarely filter what I write. It is such a powerful method and it really does help you make sense of situations and often even give solutions that you weren’t consciously aware of. If you haven’t tried journaling before, I urge you to give it a go, particularly if you are having a difficult time at the moment.

Find out more:

5 Ways journaling can help you process change

 How journaling can help you in hard times

 

A tour of my writing desk

by | May 22, 2023 | Uncategorised

Tour of my new desk

A writers desk is one of the most important tools of the trade. 

Where you sit to write can have such an impact on your concentration, how comfortable you feel, and so much more. I thought I would give you a little tour of my new desk and also explain why I felt the need to change my desk recently. 

Why does where you’re sitting have such an impact on your writing? 

Well, there are lots of reasons. It is important to be comfortable, physically and emotionally, when you write. If your desk and chair aren’t the right height, if your back isn’t supported adequately, if the light isn’t right, if there is a draft… it will make it harder for you to sit and write for long periods of time.

Equally, if your desk isn’t in the right place it can make a difference. I know lots of writers like to have their desk against a window. I would love that too, to sit with the light streaming through, but I know myself well enough to know that I would spend all day daydreaming, so I have to have my desk against the wall. Considerations like this are important when you are running a business. As lovely as it would be to spend all day gazing out of the window, I really do need to get things done!

My old desk…

 When I was 40 my husband bought me all new office furniture. He had been saving because he knew that I was making do with hand-me-downs and charity shop finds. My business was just taking off and it was impacting how “professional” I felt. We did what so many do, and headed for IKEA and bought everything to match. 

I LOVED it! It felt clean and bright and had the professional feel I was craving. 

my old desk

Fast forward a few years and I have changed a lot, as has the nature of my business. I grew increasingly aware that my desk wasn’t serving my needs any more. It was too bright. It felt cold all year round. It had no personality, no soul. 

You can see on this photo that I tried everything to make it feel “better”. I bought desk pads so that the area I was writing on was darker and warmer, but I never quite achieved what I was craving.

I started looking for a wooden desk around Christmas time. I needed it to be exactly the same size as my existing desk and be in my budget. It was not an easy task. Then a couple of weeks ago I found it. It was on ebay so there was no quarantee that I would win it, but fortunately it was due to come up at 8:30am on a Saturday, so I had a good feeling about it. Better still, on that particular Saturday I had to be up at 5:30am to drive my son an hour and a half away to volunteer at a football tournament so I knew I would be up and awake!

I sat in the car park in Ludlow with my phone signal dipping in and out, praying that I would have enough signal to make the last minute offer I wanted to make. 

The relief I felt when I won it was immense. Then I had the worry about collecting it. It was about 45 minutes from my home and I wasn’t 100% sure it would fit in my car. 

The fates aligned though and as it happened, my lovely husband was doing a job in that area the following Friday and taking a van, he could collect it. It was all arranged and less than a week later I was sitting journaling at my new desk. It was perfect.

My new desk

It’s a work in progress

Today is the first day I have sat at my new desk to work, I have been setting it up and doing my journaling on it over the weekend, but it is perfect for my needs. One of the biggest issues with my old desk was that I had to have the legs extended so it was high enough for me and whatever I did, however carefully I measured, it always cockled, which is so distracting when you are writing by hand. This is a steady as a rock, the perfect height and just feels right.

It feels warm and welcoming and I couldn’t wait to get into my office this morning.

What do you think?

I thought I would give you a little video tour so you can really see it in its full glory. My new desk is a 1950s Abbess desk, and judging by the amount of chalk dust at the back of the drawers I think I can safely assume it was originally a teacher’s desk, as many of this make of desk were. I love it so much. I recorded a little video I hope you enjoy it.

Writing helps you release negative emotions

by | Mar 2, 2023 | Uncategorised

Negativity

Negative emotions can be very damaging

When we hold on to negative emotions the impact on our mental and physical health is huge. It is so easy to walk around carrying those heavy weights, ruminating on things which have upset or hurt us. 

It may be an argument you had with someone or a hurtful comment that was made in passing that has stuck in your head. Before you know it, it is eating away at you and you are obsessing. 

Before I continue I would like to qualify that actually I don’t believe any emotions are “negative” because they all serve to show us things and teach us about ourselves, but for ease of discussion I am going to call them negative in this article.

 

What are the physical consequences of carrying negative emotions?

Well, they are pretty significant. We know that people who tend to be more negative and who spend more time experiencing negative thoughts are more likely to have cardiovascular problems, digestive issues, degenerative brain diseases, they suffer more from stress, struggle with hormone imbalance, compromised immunity and they take longer to recover when they are sick. These sound like things we would like to avoid in an ideal world, don’t they?

How can writing help?

Well, since writing is proven to lower blood pressure, boost your immune system and reduce anxiety and depression, just by writing anything you will be improving many of the things on that list.

There are some specific writing activities which will help you go even deeper and allow you to really work through those difficult emotions that you are carrying around with you. 

 

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Writing activities to release negative emotions

Write in your journal

When you write about how you are feeling it allows your unconscious mind to process events in a different way and may allow you to see things from another person’s perspective, or to be more objective when thinking about a situation. Write for as long as you can, and then write some more, and see what appears on the page. Don’t be afraid to be 100% honest, you can always burn or shred the paper afterwards, no one else ever needs to read what you write.

 Write a letter

Writing a letter to someone who has upset you or made you angry is incredibly therapeutic. The clever thing about this activity is that our brain can’t differentiate between a letter that you write and send and one you write and don’t send. Write everything out and destroy the letter. You will feel so much better for having got it off your chest and it will stop you from ruminating on all the things you should have said. 

Negativity

Where can you feel it in your body?

Often you will feel negative emotions in your body, either as a tightness in your stomach or perhaps in your shoulders. Take a moment to think about where you are feeling this emotion and then write about that and how it feels.

 Write a frustration list

This is the opposite of a gratitude list. Write a list of all the things that are annoying you, causing you grief or frustrating you in some way and get it all out of your head. Then turn it around and write a gratitude list. 

 

It doesn’t have to take a lot of time, but 5-10 minutes writing out your emotions could change your whole attitude. It could help you move through some tough emotions. Because emotions are transient. They don’t last for ever. But they can feel like they do when something really upsets or angers you. You go round and round and round and after a while it’s hard to get off the merry-go-round of negativity. As you go round next time, grab a pen and a piece of paper and try one of the techniques above and see how your mood can shift and those negative feelings move on and past and you can start to see the blue sky appearing from behind the big black clouds again.

Give it a try. You won’t regret it.

Find out more:

How to deal with negative emotions

Shift your focus

 

National Reading Month

by | Feb 27, 2023 | Uncategorised

National Reading Month

March is National Reading Month.

 A whole month to celebrate the magic that is reading, and of course the month which contains World Book Day, a day either loved or hated by children and parents alike. 

As an ex-teacher and self proclaimed bibliophile, I am fascinated by how people engage with books. Probably my favourite thing about teaching was seeing that magical moment when something just clicks and a child suddenly has confidence reading. This usually happens around the age of 6 or 7 years old. Seeing the joy in their face when they realise they can read whole pages of words without having to sound them out is pure magic. 

Sadly, for many children this is around the age their interest in reading peaks.

Statistically children read more books a year in Y3, which is 7 and 8 year olds, than at any other time in their lives, around 37 books a year. Of course it is also around this age that most children move onto longer and more complex books, but the average reading age in the UK is only 9 years old and 18% of people said they never read, when surveyed. 

I’m not going to pretend that there haven’t been times when I haven’t read as much as I do now. When my children were younger I perhaps read three or four books a year but I have always had a book on the go. I appreciate that some people are unable to read, for whatever reason, but these statistics include audiobooks.

When people say that they don’t read, it makes me sad. Reading is one of the greatest joys in my life. Sitting in a comfy chair or in bed, with a good book and a cuppa is one of my favourite things in the whole world. Extra points if it’s raining and double points if Im in a caravan or conservatory with the rain on the roof.

Reading is breathing in…

When it comes to reading, I agree with Pam Allyn; “Reading is breathing in and writing is breathing out”.

Obviously my work is based around the power of writing, but it is so much more than that, because I do believe that to be a writer you have to be a reader. We see it all the time in young people. Those who read and are read to, have wider vocabularies and a better grasp of grammar and sentence structure than those who show no interest in reading. Without both we can’t survive.

 

Reading

How can you celebrate National Reading Month?

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Visit your local library – So many libraries are struggling to stay open and they are such an incredible resource. Why not pop along to yours and find out about all the resources and services they offer now. They are definitely not just a place to borrow books any more.

2. Start, or join, a Book Club – Book Clubs are a great way to enjoy books with other book lovers. If you enjoy reading a particular type of book, why not start a book club specifically for that type of book? You will always find other people with similar taste if you ask around. Remember Book Clubs can be run online now so you don’t have to just find people in your area.

3. Start a Bookstagram account – If you really enjoy reading, Instagram has an incredibly friendly community of fellow booklovers. People share book reviews and photos of the books they are reading. It’s a wonderful way of making other bookish friends. (If you decide to do this, look me up and let’s be friends: @katebeddow).

4. Visit the home of a famous local author – Most parts of the world have houses you can visit which have connections to famous authors. Why not have a day out and find out more about an author who lived near you?

5. Find a local book event – Perhaps there is a book signing at a local bookshop, an event at your local library, or a talk being given by an author locally. Have a quick google search and see what you can find.

6. Read a book – I know it seems obvious, but this is the single most important thing you can do during National Reading Month!

Reading

Any reading counts!

There is no judgment about what you read. If you want to read a magazine, newspaper, graphic novel, classical novel, romance, thriller, murder mystery, historical fiction, fantasy… then read that! Honestly, it isn’t about what you are reading, it is about keeping those reading muscles flexed. If you enjoy reading children’s books (I know I do!), read those, read a recipe book or a car manual, it really doesn’t matter. The benefits of reading are extensive; increased empathy, reduced stress, prevents cognitive decline, increased vocabulary, improved empathy and improved readiness for sleep to name just a few.

To say nothing of the joy it brings when you find a book or a series that really captures your imagination and draws you in. There is no better feeling than finding a book you don’t want to put down. 

How will you celebrate National Reading Month? I hope I have given you some inspiration, and also some reasons why it’s a good idea to embrace the joy of reading.

Find out more:

The Joy of Reading 

National Reading Month

Are you a Word Witch?

by | Feb 20, 2023 | Uncategorised

Are you a Word Witch?

Are you a witch?

 This might seem like a controversial question, and your reaction will very much depend upon your upbringing and belief system. Over the years we have been lead to believe that witches are evil, that they dabble with devil worship, or worse, and they need to be destroyed – literally. Although the last woman to be executed for witchcraft in the UK was Janet Horne in 1727, the last woman to be convicted and imprisoned for witchcraft was considerably more recent, in 1944). It is impossible to know exactly how many women, and  men, were convicted of witchcraft over the years, but the number is definitely in the tens of thousands. 

 

So why were these people accused? Well, often the women accused used herbs and natural remedies to heal. They were also often the village midwife. It is easy to see then how easy it would be for people to have a grudge against them. Perhaps someone lost a baby, or their partner, after they had visited this woman for help. Suddenly it is all her fault that they died and they want revenge. That’s just one of many scenarios. Often these women were intelligent and even well read (which of course was not good for women’s delicate disposition), which made them a threat to the dominant patriarchal society at the time. They may have used the power of words to aid healing, it cannot be a coincidence that spelling and spell sound so similar, even though they apparently have different origins as words. 

Of course just being an outspoken woman was reason enough to be persecuted. Women were not supposed to have an opinion and definitely not voice it. We only need to look at the likes of Anne Lister, and how local society reacted to a woman having not only a position of power but using her voice. It was not something that went unnoticed and lead to her being beaten and verbally attacked in the streets many times. 

What then is a Word Witch?

Well, that’s me, and it might just be you? 

All my life I have used writing and words to comfort myself, to work out any problems I had and to self heal. More than that though, I truly believe that you can change your life with the power of words. 

Whether you are journaling and working through your current emotions, future challenges or past tragedies, or you are saying affirmations in a mirror the words we speak have tremendous power. We know that choosing the right words when we talk to others can have a dramatic effect on their response, the way we talk to ourselves can too.

Word witch

In the world of business choice of words is vital, particularly in advertising and marketing campaigns, and of course legal contracts.

We know that the words we choose can actually have a physical impact on the structure of water, (if you aren’t familiar with the work of Dr Emoto you must check out his work with water crystals and emotions)so if our bodies are 60% water then it only makes sense that we should choose the words we speak to ourselves with care too. This is why affirmations are such a powerful tool when we are trying to heal physically or emotionally, but also to empower ourselves. These are definitely a big part of my word witch toolkit. 

Word witches

Word Witches

These days of course women are allowed to have a voice, they are taught to read and right and, as time has gone on, we have realised that many of the ancient herbal remedies and healing practices can be proven scientifically to work. As more and more people are looking for natural ways to stay healthy, there has been a renewed interest in holistic healing practices and more and more people are turning to earth based, deity free belief systems. The reasons for this are undoubtedly many, I know I have my ideas, but there are many solitary witches around the world now.

The wonderful thing about being a witch, is that you can pretty much make it whatever you want it to be. There are no rules. Most witches have a deep love of nature and enjoy being outdoors, but some witches love cooking things up in their kitchen, others love the rituals associated with the practice.

I love the magic of words. 

Whether it is the power of words to transport you to another place and time through story or poetry, to help you remember, to work through things and help you forget, or even to heal. I believe words are one of the most powerful forces on the planet and for that reason the term word witch sits with me very well. 

 

I love the acronym, Woman In Total Control of Herself. This is a true witch for me. A woman who knows her own mind, who loves and respoects the world and others and who lives life to the full.

So, what do you think? Could you be a word witch too? 

 

(I am very aware that there are still countries where you can be tried and convicted of witchcraft. Sending love to all those living in those areas.)

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