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Your Journal; best friend and therapist

by | Apr 27, 2022 | Uncategorised

journal

Your journal can serve so many purposes. Do you know how to get the best from your journal time though?

There is much talk about journaling these days. There is no doubt that getting my first journal was a life changing moment for me, but what is all the fuss about? Surely it’s just a fancy name for a notebook or diary.

Well, firstly keeping a journal isn’t the same as keeping a diary. A diary is somewhere to record what you have been doing and a journal is so much more than that.

If you haven’t tried journaling, or you have tried it but not really managed to get into it, you might be wondering what the big deal is, but let me tell you, the possibilities are endless and the benefits, numerous.

What are the benefits of journaling?

Journaling has many benefits, both physical and mental. When you journal you access parts of your brain that most people don’t tap into when they are writing. You are able to discover things about yourself that you haven’t been consciously aware of before. You can work through issues, or problems, in a safe space, without judgment.

It is also proven that journaling boosts your immune system and helps you heal quicker from physical injuries. Mind blowing isn’t it? Just by writing for a few minutes every day you could be physically healthier.

Your best friend

When you take the time to sit and write in your journal you can really work through how you feel about a situation or plan without any judgment. It is like sitting chatting to your best friend. You may find that what you write isn’t always what you expected. You might see ideas appear on the page that you hadn’t considered and completely change your mind about something as you debate with yourself the benefits or pitfalls of a situation.

journaling

You might think that as it is only you writing and working through a challenge, that you will always write whatever you want to believe. When you are true to yourself though and practise journaling regularly, you will begin to see other options appearing on the page that you hadn’t previously considered. When we journal we can access our unconscious thoughts as well as our conscious mind. 

The important thing is not to filter what you are writing. Write freely and without worrying about spelling, grammar or content. Just keep writing. If you run out of things to say keep writing something until you think of something else to say. 

therapist

The cheapest therapy you will ever experience…

When you visit a therapist or counsellor, much of the time will be spent with you talking and them listening. This is exactly what you can do in your journal. 

I’m not suggesting that solo journaling is a replacement for therapy, there is still a need for a good therapist at times, but for minor issues a journal is a good starting point. You may even work through a situation enough to get some resolution. Even for bigger issues which do require professional help journaling can be a good starting point for the healing process.

 

When you journal you are able to be more objective about a situation because you feel slightly detached from what you are writing about. It often feels as though you are writing a story about someone else. Provided you feel safe in the knowledge that no-one is going to read what you write without your permission, you can write freely and get any frustration and anger out in the open. You are able to go through all the possibilities in a safe, theoretical way. Often just the process of writing something down allows us to understand it better.

So the next time you feel as though you need to talk something through but you don’t know who to trust. Or perhaps you have a problem that you can’t find a satisfactory solution to, pick up a pen and paper and write it out until it clicks into place or at least starts to. You might be surprised by what you discover when you start to journal regularly. It has been a life changing habit for me. I journal almsot every day. It has helped me with personal challenges, health issues, and business decisions over the years. Give it a go, what have you got to lose?

writing

If you feel that you would like support or guidance with your journal practice, why not join A little word told me…? This wonderfully supportive group is a great place to experiment with journaling and I am on hand to answer any questions and support you as well as providing prompts every week and giving you a dose of inspiration to help you keep writing. Wherever you are in the world you can benefit from this nurturing journaling membership. I would love you to join us.

Gentleman Jack: The Power of Journaling

by | Apr 7, 2022 | Uncategorised

Anne Lister, Gentleman Jack

Gentleman Jack has captured our hearts

The story of Anne Lister, played by Suranne Jones, has given us a whole new insight into life in the early 19th Century. Born the same year George III came to the throne, Anne Lister was a dynamic and strong woman in a time when women were expected to be subserviant. She inherited land and ran her business, and her life, in a manner that did not sit well with a lot of people. In addition to her very masculine way of going about her business, she was also openly gay, which in those times was shocking. 

Although lesbianism has never, to my knowledge, been illegal in the UK, it was assumed that women who lived together and even shared a bed, were “just friends” and keeping each other company. 

Anne Lister was not shy in her relationships, and made it quite clear to anyone around her that this was not the case. 

Gentleman Jack’s diaries

During her life, Lister kept a journal where she detailed everything from business transactions to how she seduced women. When these diaries were discovered in the attic of Shibden Hall by the last inhabitant of the Hall, John Lister (a descendant of Anne Lister’s paternal grandfather). He set about deciphering them with a friend and local school teacher. 

Upon discovering the contents of the diaries Lister was advised to burn them, but he refused and the remained in the attic until the hall was taken over by Halifax Corporation, which later became calderdale Council. The school teacher who had assisted John Lister in translating the diaries, who was by now in his 80s, gave the council details of the code. A team of researchers the cracked the rest of the code and it is these diaries which now form the foundation of Gentleman Jack. 

During her 49 years of life, Anne Lister write over 5 million words in her journals, which is three times the length of Samuel Pepys diary. Her diary began on sheets of paper but when she began writing seriously she wrote in two school exerecise books. She began writing her journal when she was just 15 years old and continued to write throughout her life. 

What I love about her diaries is the personal content and the bravery of recording, what was afterall, a controversial life. Lister was afterall beaten and verbally attacked for her choices. 

Anne Lister - Gentleman Jack
Anne Lister Quote

This quote, taken from Anne Lister’s diary shows how important her diaries were for her mental health:

 

“What comfort this journal. I tell myself to myself and then throw

the burden on my book and feel relieved.”

She also wrote in a letter to her aunt in 1803; “My library is my greatest pleasure” showing that her love of the written word was life long, and important to her emotional health as well as her education.

I think I would have liked Gentleman Jack. I have always been drawn to the tomboy characters in literature and I love a good strong woman who knows her mind. After all I was a tomboy myself as a child and have always been quite headstrong.

She grew up, not that far from where I was raised too. Shibden Hall is only 10 miles from my childhood home in Gildersome, just outside Leeds. Having visited regularly as a child, I remember learning all about Gentleman Jack. On a visit with the Guides we learned about the secret diaries and I was enchanted by this strong, Yorkshire lass. I was always looking for strong role models from the past. I was enamoured of any woman who was brave enough to rock the boat at a time when we were expected to sit down and shut up. Her sense of style also fascinated me. I still love her style. If only I was brave enough to dress like her now! The costumes in Gentleman Jack are  stunning, but it isn’t the dresses and frills that I am admiring. It is the black floor length coats, the top hats and the starched shirts of Anne Lister. 

More than her appearance and her feisty nature though, I loved that she had a secret code, after all I had grown up reading Secret Seven and was fascinated by coded texts. 

Secret diaries of Gentleman Jack

Her code, comprised of the Greek alphabet, zodiac, mathematical symbols and punctuation, was relatively simple, apparently, although I’m not sure I would have cracked it. The fact that she was writing from the heart and pouring everything onto the page in this coded way, gave her some protection and ensured that noone else could easily read her journals. 

Anne Listers coded text

When we write in a journal and use the page therapeutically, as Gentleman Jack clearly did, it is important that we feel safe in being completely honest and saying exactly what we feel and she clearly had a good understanding of this from a very early age. She knew intuitively, as many of us do, that writing things down was a way for her to process the events of her life and work through any challenges. Given that only 40% of women were literate in 1800, she was fortunate that she was born into the circumstances she was and had access to this early therapy.

A very brief history of personal journaling

The earliest personal diary is believed to be that of Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor, during 2nd Century AD. Leonardo Da Vinci of course kept a detailed diary in 15th Century Italy. Given that literacy rates in the UK were only around 11% in the 15th Century, it hardly surprising that journaling didn’t take off more widely until a few years later. 

By the turn of the 20th Century literacy rates in the UK had reached a massive 97% (only 2% less than it is today), this gave many more people access to the written word, and if they chose, to diary writing. Diary writing was at its most popular during Victorian times, so it was just growing in popularity when Anne Lister began her journaling habit.

I find it fascinating that given that it was mostly women who kept personal diaries in the 1800s, Anne Lister allowed herself this feminine pastime. Perhaps it was her way of releasing all the tension that built up as a result of her life choices. What a blessing it is for us that she did though as it has given us an insight into an incredible woman. A woman who would, most likely, have been lost to history without this personal account of her unorthodox and fascinating life. 

 

 

Find out more about Anne Lister, Gentleman Jack and the power of journaling:

The Secret Diaries of Anne Lister

Gentleman Jack filming locations

The Power of Words

A little word told me…

 

The Joy of Reading

by | Apr 4, 2022 | Uncategorised

The Joy of Reading

Reading is as much a part of my life as writing.

I have always loved to read, from being a very small child I remember asking for the same stories over and over again, my Dad still rolls his eyes if I mention “Daisy Dog’s Wake-up Book”. It was my favourite for a quite a long time I think.

As I got older and was able to read myself I always had a book with me, we had a big tall bookcase next to our bunkbeds so that I could reach my books from the top bunk and books were a godsend on wet caravanning holidays.

I loved reading a series so I really got to know the characters. Whether it was Meg and Mog, Dorrie the Little Witch, Famous Five, Secret Seven, Dr Dolittle, The Chronicles of Narnia… I could always find a series that captures me and allowed me to go off on adventures from the comfort of my own bed. 

Why is reading so important?

It probably doesn’t surprise you to learn that I love reading, I don’t really hide the fact that I love books. Why is reading so important though? Well, quite simply, the more you read the better your writing becomes. As an ex-teacher, you could always see the difference in the spelling and grammar between the children who read more confidently and those who didn’t enjoy reading. Obviously all children develop at different ages, and many caught up, and indeed overtook, their peers in time, but those children who just didn’t enjoy reading didn’t have the same grasp of language in their written work.

It’s obvious really that the more you read the more you see correct spellings, you learn grammatical rules just by hearing them so often that they become automatic and you learn new words and expand your own vocabulary too.

There is so much more to reading than just the benefits to your reading and writing styles though. It is proven that people who read more have greater levels of empathy than those who don’t, it reduces stress and even helps you sleep. 

Known benefits of reading

There are many known benefits to reading, here are just a few:

  • Strengthens your brain
  • Reduces Stress
  • Increases empathy
  • Helps you prepare for sleep
  • Builds vocabulary
  • Improves depression
  • Prevents alzheimers and dementia
  • It may even help you live longer!

 

Reading

Reading is a wonderful pass time. 

For me, reading is a way to travel without leaving my own home, a way to experience many lives as well as my own and a way to learn a myriad of things. As a life long learner reading is vital for my happiness.

I love to read. Do I read every day though? Well, I read something every day, I don’t always pick up my book to read every day though. I also don’t tend to set myself reading goals, or worry about reading so many books a month etc. For me this puts pressure on something which should be a joy. 

I do love to read, but sometimes my eyes are tired and I can’t concentrate on what I am reading. Like everyone, if I read when I am too tired I end up having to re-read huge sections again.

Reading shouldn’t be a competition. It should be pure pleasure. 

Audiobooks

The controversy of the audiobook

There is huge debate about whether audiobooks count when discussing books you have read. Why wouldn’t they? Admittedly there may not be all the benefits of reading a printed book, but you still experience the story, it could be argued that you experience it to a greater degree. 

My Dad has a divergent squint and gets terrible headaches when he reads for any period of time. Every night my Mum reads a chapter of the book they are reading together to him. 

It is one of the greatest acts of love I have ever witnessed. My Mum loves to read and she wants to enable Dad to experience the joy of these stories too. They could listen to audio books and that would be the same thing, but Mum chooses to read so they can stop and discuss things as they go along. It is beautiful. 

On a similar theme, we wouldn’t pass judgement over someone who had sight impairement for listening to audio books, they are a valid way to digest information and stories, especially in a busy world. Many people listen to books on their commute. This is a wonderful use of your time. What could be better?

Reading, in whatever form, should be joyful. Of course there are times when we have to read things, which may be less than enjoyable, but, if we are sitting down to read, we should look forward to that time. 

Whether we are reading a business book or a fantasy novel we are giving our time to that content and our time is precious. If you get part way through and you aren’t enjoying it, put it back on the shelf and read something else, you can always come back to it later. Sometimes we just aren’t in the right place to read that particular book.

reading

On another day we might not be able to put it down. There is nothing more wonderful than finding a book that we just want to keep reading. I can remember starting a few books over the years that I have ended up reading while making tea, while I get the children ready for bed (literally supervising toothbrushing while reading another few lines!), and not being able to sleep until I had finished. That is a good book. A book that draws you in and captivates you to such a degree is magical. If you have never experienced that feeling, don’t give up, the right book will find you. The right book can change your life forever, really.

The most important thing is that you keep reading though. Whatever it is you enjoy reading. You might love Young Adult fiction – great! Perhaps you love reading about Ancient Egypt or the internal workings of the combustion engine – brilliant! It doesn’t matter what you read, or even how much you read, the important thing is that you read. 

What is your favourite book? What is it about that book that you love so much? Let me know in the comments.

Find out more about the benefits of reading and writing:

The Power of Words

Eat, Pray, Love – the life changing power of books

The benefits of reading

Benefits of reading video

 

The Power of Words

by | Mar 22, 2022 | Uncategorised

power of words

Words have Power.

Words are powerful, we all know it’s true. Whether it is an unkind word said to a child on a playground that changes the way they see them-self forever, an advertising campaign that makes you rush out and but the latest product, or a witches spell in a storybook.

Words are perhaps the most powerful thing in the world. They are how we communicate, how we calm someone down and how we let others know what we need. They are also how we can be manipulated and upset. Truly powerful.

Words start wars, seal fates, declare love for another under the desk at school and keep loved ones informed about what we are doing.

It is hard to even imagine a world where words hadn’t evolved.

There are times when words just a means of passing on information; when we ask someone to pass us the milk, or to close the door. Even then though they have purpose, and we would struggle to make ourselves understood without them.

 

Fascination with words

I have always been fascinated by words. I love finding new and interesting words like: 

novalunosis which is the state of wonderment you feel while gazing at the stars.

eudaimonia the state of being happy, healthy and prosperous or

querencia the place where you are your most authentic self, from where your strength is drawn.

 

Aren’t they wonderful words? I have a whole book full of magical words I have found over the years.

Words aren’t just a way of expressing ourselves and making ourselves understood though. They carry an energy and can actually change the state of things. 

The work of Dr Emoto

Dr Masaru Emoto is a Japanese business man who has reseached the power of words on water. He photographs the water molecules and how they change shape depending on the emotion they have had spoken to them and directed at them. The shapes vary greatly. It is truly fascinating.

When we then consider the fact that our body is 60% water and when we, or other people, direct emotions at that water all day every day, that is really cause to think.

What if every time we say something unkind to ourselves, or someone says something hurtful to us, the molecular structure of the water in our body changes? What impact could that be having on us?

change

The power of a name

The idea that knowing the name of something or someone gives us power over it, is found in almost all the major world religious teachings, as well as folklore and oral traditions. We see it perhaps most obviously in the story of Rumpestiltskin. At the end of the story Rumpelstiltskin declares that the miller’s daughter must discover his name if she is to keep her baby. He clearly guards his name carefully and doesn’t want anyone to discover it! 

The name someone is given is important too, isn’t it? I can remember when my children were born realising that they did or didn’t suit the name we had chosen for them. Certain personalities seem to come attached to certain names. 

I remember when I first began reading widely, realising that if there was a Katherine, Kate or Katy in a book they were feisty, stubborn and often trouble. While my sister, Jen’s namesakes were always meek and mild mannered. I don’t think I need to fill in any gaps for you there!

Spell

Spelling

It would be remiss of me not to mention the notion of spells while talking about the power of words. The origin of the word spell in this context is from the German spel, which refers to talk, gossip or storytelling, it is the same origin as gospel.

Years ago people spoke words, or spells, over objects to protect them and keep them safe. It became associated with superstition and magic much later, around the 16th Century. 

Many people, magical or not, still use the concept of spoken spells for protection. Without wishing to upset anyone, it is effectively prayer.

Whatever context you are considering, words are powerful things. Whether spoken or written words are how we express ourselves, how we identify ourselves, they allow us to pass on knowledge and wisdom through generations. Without words we would have no books, no films, no poems, no social media. We would have no way of sharing our inner world with others at all. 

Often when we experience challenges the most powerful thing to do is to share it with someone, equally the first thing we want to do when we have successes is to shout it from the rooftops. We couldn’t do either of those things without words. 

The written word

What about those things that we know we need to get off our chest but we don’t want anyone else to know about though? We don’t want to tell anyone about those things. 

That’s when journaling and writing things down is important. We can write things down and never share them with a soul, but still get the same healing benefits from having discussed it with another. We often find comfort in the words that appear on the page. They heal us and help us to forgive ourselves or move on from whatever pain we are experiencing. 

Cosy change

Journaling, or writing down our thoughts and feelings without judgement, can help us heal emotionally and physically from challenging times. Research shows that journaling can even heal a wound more quickly. There really is nothing more powerful than words. 

Do you use the power of words to enrich your life? 

Perhaps you keep a diary, or enjoy reading. Maybe the thing you love most is a good chat with your best friend. However you use words, they really are powerful, it is important to chose them wisely and with kindness, especially when talking to ourselves. 

Find out more about the power of words:

Spelling out the history of spelling

Dr Emoto and water consciousness

A little word told me… Journaling membership group

Good mental health as a way of life

by | Mar 18, 2022 | Uncategorised

Mental health

Mental health crisis

I firmly believe we are heading for a mental health crisis. I know this isn’t my usual positive message, but it is a painful truth. The whole world has been living in a state of fight or flight for over two years now and all we are doing is kicking the can down the road. At some point it is going to catch up with us. 

I have been in a state of crisis with my mental health. I have woken up in tears and felt unable to get out of bed. I have been so depressed I couldn’t sleep and felt numb all the time. 

It is because of this experience that I then went out and found ways to stay mentally healthy. For me it was a string of circumstances that caused me to feel that way, so it was relatively easy to remove the culprits.

 

I made myself promises like:

  • I will never stay in a job that makes me feel like that again
  • I will never allow a man to treat me like that again
  • I will always speak to someone if I start to feel like that 

It was a few more years before the penny dropped that I needed to do more than just walk away from stress in order to be mentally healthy.

At that point I started journaling again, I made a conscious effort to meditate every day, not just when I thought about it, and most importantly, for me, I realised that my diet had a huge impact on my mental health as well as my physical health. 

It does make me a little sad though because when I look at my family, friends and clients, the ones who actively look after their mental health are all the ones who have been at this extreme point. Only then have they realised that they needed to do things to care for their mental wellbeing. 

 

My ever growing toolkit

Of course over the years I have added countless other tools to my mental health toolkit; journal therapy, Reiki, crystals, tree spirit healing, mindfulness practices, breathing techniques… There are so many things we can do to support out mental wellbeing.

Do you know what still lifts me faster than anything else when I feel myself slipping though? 

Singing. 

change

I love music and putting on some uplifting music and having a good sing, even dancing round my office or kitchen, is guaranteed to lift my mood and energise me. No training needed. 

 

Three easy things I do to support my mental health

Singing is actually scientifically proven to lift help with anxiety, I wrote about it a little while ago. When we sing we alter our breathing and it works as effectively as any breathing technique.

Another thing which instantly makes me feel better is sunshine. Unfortunately that is much harder to regulate but getting outside whatever the weather always helps. 

The last, and most joyous thing which helps is seeing my loved ones. Whether it is a catch up with a good friend or a family outing. Seeing my loved ones and having a good chat and a hug is guaranteed to make me feel as though everything is going to be ok.

 

Top 5 things anyone can do to support their mental health

Imperfect change

  1. Get enough sleep – while we sleep our body processes stress so when we don’t get enough sleep we wake with yesterdays stress still in our system.

  2. Eat well – our diet doesn’t just affect our physical health. Fatty foods, sugar, alcohol and caffeine can all have a big impact on our mental health.
  3. Get enough exercise – exercise doesn’t just improve our physical health. Movement is one of the only ways our body can process all the chemicals we produce when we are stressed. Get moving!
  4.  Write – just grab a pen and a scrap of paper and write out exactly how you are feeling. You don’t have to show anyone, you can destroy it as soon as you have finished writing, but releasing those thoughts and emotions onto paper is incredibly healing. (If you want help with writing therapy get in touch, I am happy to support you with this.
  5. Be more mindful – mindfulness isn’t something formal and scary. You can meditate while you wash up. 

Incorporating things like mindfulness into your day might feel daunting. You may not know how to start, you may think you can’t do it, you may believe you don’t have time. Let me tell you, it’s easy, you can and you do. If you want to learn about how you can be more mindful every day, have a read of this blog I wrote a while back: Every Day Mindfulness.

Have I convinced you yet that you need to start thinking about your mental health as often as you do your physical health? 

We need to start encouraging people to spot the warning signs of depression and anxiety in the same way we do strokes and heart attacks. There should be media campaigns and people going into schools teaching our children how  to prevent mental health issues.

We don’t need a sticking plaster after we’ve fallen, we need to be taught how to walk the tightrope of mental health as proficiently as we possibly can in the hope that we never fall off.

 

Support for your mental health:

These are wonderful websites and apps which can support your mental health if you are struggling.

Young Minds

Mind

Calm

NHS England