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Can gratitude really change your life?

by Kate Beddow | Nov 14, 2022 | Uncategorised

Gratitude has become a bit of a buzz word over recent years.

We hear all the time how important it is to have an “attitude of gratitude” in order to live a fullfiling and happy life. But how true is that? Is there any science behind it?

Well, I would argue that it is true, and yes there is science to back it up for anyone who thinks this concept is a little too out there for them.

What is gratitude?

Well, put simply, it is just being thankful for what you have, being grateful for your life and everything and everyone in it.

It’s so easy to drift through life and stop noticing all the things that are really wonderful in your life. We are all guilty of it. We take things, places and people for granted and just expect them to always be there. When we practice gratitude we make an effort to notice and to write down all those things we are thankful for, but also to let those people know that we are grateful for them, that we appreciate them.

How can you practice gratitude?

Well, there are lots of ways to practice gratitude. My favourite is to have a gratitude journal. I keep mine by my bed. Every night you write down all the things you are grateful for. Some people suggest you write three things, but I think most days that is too easy and doesn’t exercise your gratitude muscle enough, I would say to aim for between 5 and 15 a day. The more you write down everything you are grateful for, the more reasons you will find to be grateful.

Of course you don’t need to write it down, you can just think it or say it to yourself. I find that writing it down helps to keep me accountable though because I can see if I missed a day or two.

Some people prefer to use a jar and every time something wonderful happens to them they write it on a slip of paper and pop it in the jar, then take things out to read either when they need a lift, or at the end of the year.

Something as simple as saying thank you to someone, maybe sending them a little card, is all part of practicing gratitude though.

What’s the science though?

Well, the sience is pretty conclusive actually. You see we know now that our brains are constantly forming new pathways and changing how we go about things based on our habits and routines.

Evolution taught us to pay more attention to dangerous and scary things, because we needed to survive. As a result, we tend to notice and remember all the bad things that happen much more easily than we do the good things. It makes sense. Those of us who survived to tell the tale were the ones that remembered that if you ate that berry you died, or that you mustn’t get too close to bears. However, now most of the things that cause us stress are far less life threatening.

When we have a job interview, or we’re worrying about how we’re going to pay the bills going into fight or flight mode and committing that feeling to memory isn’t going to keep us safe. It is going to keep us trapped in fear and negativity.

When we begin to make an effort to focus on the positives in life though our brain begins to reprogramme itself. We begin to notice more of the positive and magical things in life and everything feels happier.

Something as simple as writing down 5-10 things that you are grateful for every day could actually begin to make you feel happier and more satisfied with your life. Don’t get me wrong, I know that times are hard for many people at the moment. Harder than I can remember in my life time. So many people are worried about the cost of living and whether they can afford to put the heating on this winter. I’m not suggesting for a minute that writing down the things you are grateful for will make all those issues disappear completely. But if for example, you are reading this, then you have a phone or other smart device which allows you to read it. If you are worrying about heating your home, then you have a roof over your head. I know it isn’t always easy, but trying to see the bright side, may not remove the issues, but it may make them feel more manageable and when you are feeling more positive, you are better able to find solutions because you begin to relax.

Do you have a gratitude practice? Do you believe gratitude is helpful for supporting your mental health?

Find out more:

Plan and Dream

How gratitude changes you and your brain

Winter Writing Calendar

by Kate Beddow | Nov 11, 2022 | Uncategorised

Mindful Journaling Advent ebook

I love a chocolate advent calendar as much as the next person, but at this time of year I start to reflect on the past year and make plans for the coming year.

I love to journal about all the things I have achieved this year and things I have done and then create a vision board of all the things I want to achieve in the coming year.

If there is one thing I have learned it is that if I enjoy something then there are other people out there who do too.

Yes! I want my mindful journaling advent ebook!

What is a mindful journaling advent ebook?

Every day you will get a writing prompt to help you explore many different aspects of this festive time of year. You will also have a poem, seasonal passage or mindfulness technique to help you explore winter wellness and how writing can help you to support your wellbeing at this challenging time of year.

You don’t need any previous experience to take part, just something to write with and something to write on.

Yes! I want my mindful journaling advent ebook!

You might choose to treat yourself to a new notebook or use the back of envelopes. You can add it to your existing yournal if you have one or write it on your phone notes. The choice is yours.

You can spend 5 minutes a day or 50 minutes a day exploring the writing prompts and if you have a busy day you can catch up whenever you have chance, this is an enjoyable activity not a chore.

Writing can often seem like a solitary process but it is so much more fun when we share our writing and talk to other bibliophiles. Why not follow me on social media for more healing writing tips?

If you love words and would like a gentle journaling prompt to brighten up every day of advent get your copy now.

Find out more

The Power of Spelling

by Kate Beddow | Nov 7, 2022 | Uncategorised

When we think of spells, most of us think of witches

Ugly, stooped women, stirring cauldrons while cackling and chanting while adding eye of newt and trying to cast a spell on someone. Perhaps to change them to a toad? Perhaps to make something happen that they desire. Well, apart from the fact that eye of newt is just another name for mustard seed, and the fact that witches were just women, and men, who understood the healing power of plants and nature generally. Women who had a knowledge of what we now call energy healing and ancient remedies. Women who would be called on to support other women who were struggling to get pregnant, were pregnant, giving birth or new mums. They were crucial in communities but as with all healers and medical practitioners, there were limits to their abilities to save lives and heal others.

What they did understand and have an amazing grasp of though, was something we are only just fully understanding in the modern world, and that is the power of words. How we can use words to improve our health, our mental state and change our lives and circumstances for the better. What we now call spells, were in fact affirmations and a form of intention setting. In reality, we all use spells every single day. We use our words and our words have the power to change lives. When we use words to focus our energy and to clarify our intention we can make great change happen. By now most people are familiar with The Secret, the bestseller by Rhonda Byrne. The whole concept of this principle is around setting your intention that something happens or is created, and either using affirmation or vision boards you set your focus and keep working towards that objective until it is manifest in your life.

Spells are magical

Spells work in the same way. Witches would create a spell jar or create a recipe, and set the intention that that combination of herbs and ingredients would heal whatever ailed the person they were working with. It may be a physical illness or something more mental and emotional such as confidence or heartache. Whatever they were working towards together, the witch would set that intention and use words to clarify that and focus their minds on what they were trying to achieve.

Now, we use affirmations, journaling and therapy as a way of using words to heal and manifest. As a journal therapist I know the power of writing things down, both to discover things about ourselves and our lives that we may not be consciously aware of, but also for setting goals and intentions.

Speak and Spell

We know that the words we use can be transformational. As a teacher I was very aware that if I shouted “Walk” I got a better response than shouting “Don’t run!”. Children find it easier to process affirmative statements which tell them what we want them to do not what we don’t want. We also know the importance psychologically of correcting the behaviour a child is demonstrating rather then criticising the child. We don’t call a child naughty, we explain that their behaviour isn’t acceptable and then explain why. When we label a child as naughty, lazy, bossy… we plant a seed in their heads that grows and it is hard for them to break free of that label then, even in adulthood.

It is so important to use the right language when we talk, not only to others, but to ourselves. How often do you find yourself saying things like; oh I can’t do that, I can’t afford to, gosh I look so fat… the list goes on and on. We would never talk to someone else like that, but most of us are so self critical it is painful. If we heard someone talking to a child the way we talk to ourselves we would be appalled.

Let’s start choosing our words more carefully, ensuring that we are saying exactly what we mean, words really do have power and we must remember that.

Today I encourage you to speak to yourself and others with kindness. I implore you to choose your words carefully. I correct myself regularly when I say things like “I hope I will be able to do it”, remove that doubt; “I will be able to do it”. The more we become aware of our language and the more we understand about the power of words, the more magical our lives become. Why not grab a journal and write for a few minutes something you want to make happen, start using affirmations, and watch things change for yourself and others in your life.

Find out more about spelling and affirmations:

Affirmations video

Spelling out the history of spell

The Power of Words

Journaling to preserve memories

by Kate Beddow | Oct 17, 2022 | Uncategorised

“My memories are inside me – they’re not things or a place – I can take them anywhere.”

Olivia Newton-John

Memories are arguably our most prized possessions. They are ours and ours alone. They are uniquely portably and precious. Nothing is more special than the memory of our grandparents, the first time we saw our beloved, or the moment our children were born. We all have precious memories and they are only ours, noone can share them. They may have been at the same event but each person has a unique perspective and recollection of it.

One of my favourite ways of preserving memories is through my journaling. I journal in many different ways, but often, especially if something significant has happened, I write about my experiences and emotions. This isn’t a diary. It is more than that. It is a record of my feelings and experiences throughout time. I write about where I have been and who with, but how I feel about it and any thoughts that resulted. It is a record of my state of mind. A way for me to process my emotions and also a record of my life.

Memory keeping

This weekend I went to visit my daughter who has just started university in York and I have documented this special weekend in two ways; journal entries and photos. These are my go to memory recording strategies. They are deep rooted too. My Dad is the ultimate recorder of memories. He has written a diary every day for over 40 years. As a result the majority of my life can be recalled in the finest detail with the turn of a page. This is such a valuable gift, especially as someone who is currently writing a memoir!

Dad’s diary is very different in form to my journal but serves an equally valid purpose as a memory recorder (arguably more so because he documents every place he visits, world wide events, the weather and even what he has eaten). This level of documentation takes serious dedication.

A wonderful example

He has also always been a meticulous photographer. He takes photos of every event and life change. As a child I found this annoying because every time I did anything there was a camera to record it. As a teenager and young adult, it worried me because I was concerned he may be missing out on experiencing the events because he saw everything through a camera lense. As an adult and parent, I now understand completely. I am not as efficient as my Dad, but I do make sure I record my life. It is important to me to have memory jogs to help me remember important events. I have seen too many people lose their memories due to dementia to not do everything in my power to record the moments that bring me joy so I can look back and be reminded should I ever need that memory reminder.

As a result I journal almost every day. Writing without any thought about everything that is in my head. Usually this includes key events and people I have had interactions with, but also anything that is on my mind, any worries I have and any emotions stirred by recent events. It is a wonderful way to work through challenges you are experiencing or any worries you have as well as documenting key moments of your life for future reference. So this morning I am still thinking about the magical weekend I have had.

Not only did I get to see my daughter after a month apart, I also saw my parents and my sister and her family. I also spent an afternoon with my daughter’s friend, who is quickly becoming another child of mine, which is magical. I love spending time in York because I studied at the same university my daughter is attending so I have many wonderful memories of my time there. These are all stirred when I visit too. So this morning my journaling was about my emotions around seeing my daughter and family. The wonderful bookshops and shopping streets, delicious food, stunning architecture, all these elements are woven carefully together with reflections on my own time at University and the life long friends I made there. Interestingly, my time at university was when I started writing a daily journal. There have been times I let the habit slip but I still have those first writings to remind me of all my feelings and adventures as a trainee teacher in the 1990s.

It may not be as precise an art as my Dad’s diary writing, but it helps me to work through my emotions, process the events of my life, and also keep a record of what I did when.

I cannot recommend starting a journal habit enough. It honestly has changed my life in the years I have been writing every day. I feel calmer, I regularly have revelations about how I am feeling or actions I need to take while I write my daily pages. Just the act of writing something down means you have a greater chance of remembering it, so you will be boosting your memory while recording your memories. Grab a notebook and get writing, you might be surprised at what appears on the page and even if you just write down everything you have done that day and how you feel about it, what a wonderful way of preserving your memories.

Find out more about journaling for memory keeping:

How the benefits of journaling can transform you life

6 Ways journaling can change your life

Are the clues to your passions found in your childhood?

by Kate Beddow | Sep 26, 2022 | Uncategorised

Our childhood passions are often the most intense of our lives. You only need to think of a child who is obsessed with dinosaurs, superheroes or Harry Potter and the know everything there is to know. Their every thought seems to be consumed with their passion and nothing stops them in persuit of more knowledge and experiences to feed that passion.

As adults our passions tend to become more diluted. Our time is taken up with other “more important” things and we often forget our passions altogether.

What if we took a moment to revisit our childhood passions and see if they still light us up though?

Perhaps colouring is still something you would enjoy. Maybe all those hours you spent making perfume out of rose petals were a clue about what career you should be pursuing. One of my passions is encouraging people to follow their passions and live the life of their dreams and I have realised over the years just how many clues there have been showing me my dream career and I didn’t always choose to listen, do we ever?

As a small child I loved book. I began writing my own books on my Mum’s typewriter. I loved kneeling up at the coffee table and typing out my little imaginings. It made me feel so grown up and like I was a real writer. I loved trips to the local library, in my home village of Gildersome. It was nothing fancy, but the smell of the books and the shelves and shelves of possibility filled me with excitement. I slowly worked my way through Dorrie the Little Witch, onto The Chronicles of Narnia and the Dr Dolittle series and finally reading The Lord of the Rings books, with many other books along the way. I loved to read, but it was more than that. I loved being surrounded by books. I loved my trips to the library so much that I even created my own little library. I put cards in pockets inside all my comics and let the children on my street borrow them.

Be prepared!

I was a Girl Guide and one of the badges I had to achieve in order to get my Baden Powell Award, was my Service Flash (the longest badge on my shoulder). This badge required you do 40 hours of community service, which had to be documented. I went down to my local library and asked whether it would be possible to do my Service Flash with them. They agreed and so began one of the best times of my life.

Every Monday night after tea I walked down to the library and spent two hours putting books back on the shelves, learning about the Dewey decimal system, re-covering the books to protect the covers and… the best bit of all… stamping the books people took out and sorting out the library cards and filing them in the right place in the racks and racks of cards.

I was in book heaven!

In addition to that, I borrowed books every week while I was there so I was reading even more than usual. It was such a great time. I was 13 years old and surrounded almost exclusively by pensioners but I was also surrounded by books.

Words have been a theme throughout my life, whether reading, writing, speaking or singing I have always had a deep interest in words and their many and varied uses. Their ability to heal and upset. The way they can bring people together in song or exclude people. I have written blogs, lesson plans, diaries, poems, contributed to books, I even wrote for the local newspaper when I was at school, having theatre reviews published. Despite all this, it took me many, many years to realise that this is what makes me truly happy.

I have always tried hard to do jobs that make me truly happy and everything I have ever done I have enjoyed. The work I am doing now though goes deeper than that. I am in my element. I look at my life and realise that every job I have ever done has been a stepping stone. It has given me skills I needed, and I enjoyed every step. But supporting people using the power of words is a deep, calling that I never dreamed could be a reality.

Of course, when I was writing stories in the caravan all those years ago, the work I am blessed to do now didn’t exist. There was no such thing as a coach, apart from in a sporting context or as a mode of transport you used to go on school trips! The idea of using writing to help people live their best lives would have been unheard of.

Had I not gone through all the self discovery that was required when I completed my Life Purpose Coaching course during the pandemic. I did the course to pass the time I never thought it would lead me to some deep self discovery. At that point I was convinced that my work with schools was my passion. After all I was a teacher and in the same way I used to create libraries and write stories, I used to play schools. That was where I was meant to be wasn’t it?

Well, it turned out that wasn’t the case. Suddenly everything in my life started pointing me down a different road. I loved working with schools, but as always with education, there were more and more hoops to jump through and ever increasing pressures on funding meant that my school work slowly dried up a year ago and I was finally free to persue my true passion.

Sometimes we need a nudge don’t we? Whilever I was busy in schools I would never have left that work behind. Suddenly I had the time to think about really moving in the direction of my dreams. While I’m still not crystal clear about exactly what my long term plans are, I know that writing and coaching will always be a part of who I am and what I contribute to the world.

I want to invite you to stop and think about the things you really enjoyed as a child. Perhaps you have buried your childhood so deep that you can’t remember any more. If you would like some gentle, nurturing support to help you explore this subject I would love to hold your hand as you walk the path towards your passions and living a life of fulfillment and joy.

Find out more about following your passions:

Are you still learning who you really are?

9 tips on how to find your passion in life