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Is your life changing? You need to read this.

by Kate Beddow | Sep 2, 2022 | Uncategorised

Life is changing all the time…

We grow, situations change and life moves on from one day to the next. Occassionally though something happens which changes life in a big way. It may be a change of job, the start of a new relationship, or the end of an old one, the death of a loved one or the birth of a child. Often we are expecting this change, but it doesn’t necessarily make that change easier to deal with.

Life is constantly changing.

This time of year brings many changes too. The weather changes, the leaves on the trees will soon be changing and children are starting school, changing class and even leaving home to start new chapters at boarding school or university.

As an ex-teacher I am particularly in tune with the changes that happen in the Autumn. I would have been adding the finishing touches to my new classroom and preparing for my new class at this time of year. I still get the urge to buy new stationery and a new school bag, and I still use an academic diary. This time of year still feels like new year more than January 1st to me, I suppose because I spent so many years in education.

This year I am gearing up for one of the biggest changes of my adult life; my daughter going to university.

I have been trying to mentally and physically prepare for this change ever since she changed her mind about wanting to go, about two years ago. I am slowly realising though that it doesn’t matter how much pasta I have bought for her to take with her, I have still not processed the fact that in two short weeks she will be moving 120 miles away. Not only that, she will only be 4 miles from my best friend, my sister Jen, and I will still be 120 miles away from both of them!

I have, of course, been journaling about this imminent change, but I have realised that I am not fully able to process it. Why? Because it hasn’t happened yet. I was talking to my sister about it recently, her eldest is starting high school this week, that is a big change for their family too. She commented that she didn’t think she could process it fully because she doesn’t know how she is going to feel.

It’s true isn’t it?

We can’t know how we are going to feel about something that hasn’t happened yet.

Journaling is a powerful tool and one I would recommend to anyone, but it is a tool for processing events and emotions we have already experienced. I can journal about the wonderful memories we have created this summer, but what I cannot do is process my daughter leaving home, because it hasn’t happened yet.

Similarly, if we are unhappy in our relationship, we can journal about the emotions we are feeling, but we can’t write about the end of that relationship until it has actually ended.

There are times when journaling can be used to project what we want to happen in the our lives. We may write a letter to our future self or journal about business goals we have, we may even discover ambitions we were unaware of while we journal, but this is a different form of journaling and a subject for another blog. When we use journaling to heal emotionally, we have to have already experienced those emotions.

We want to start processing those big emotions before the time is right, because we know they may be overwhelming if we wait until we are in the eye of the storm. It may be possible to start processing how we feel about these big changes, but we can’t possibly know exactly how we will feel until they are here, with us, and we are immersed fully.

We want to start healing before we have suffered the injury, as though that will make it all easier.

Unfortunately life isn’t like that, is it?

I am acutely aware that I am going to need to do a lot of journaling and processing of my emotions when my daughter moves to University. I already cry at the thought of it some days. I know that this is the best thing for her though. I know she is ready and she needs that freedom to grown and spread her wings. This is what I have been wanting for her since she was born. What I hadn’t taken into account though is the fact that for her to fly high and live her life, she has to leave me on the ground waiting to see when she will land in my life again.

I do know one thing for sure though. I have a beautiful new journal waiting to absorb all the tears and the heartache, emotions that I will undoubtedly feel at times. I also have a deep and beautiful knowledge that she is following her dream to be a writer. A dream she has had since she was able to understand what it meant to be an author. I am filled with pride and joy that she is able to follow her heart and have this life changing experience.

It is so often the case that big changes come with a cocktail of emotions, and they aren’t always the ones that you were expecting.

If you have big changes ahead in your life, you can talk to trusted loved ones, you can write about how you are feeling right now, you can do everything in your power to be organised for that change. What you can’t do though, is to begin to process how think you will feel when the change happens, and that is ok. That’s how life should be. You might surprise yourself and deal with it brilliantly. You might experience emotions you weren’t expecting. Whatever happens though, you will get through it and writing it out can be a powerful tool to help you do that.

If you would like to learn more about the power of journaling, why not join my journaling group; A little word told me…

Find out more about journaling through change:

Are you going through big changes?

Benefits of journaling

Therapeutic writing or writing for business.

by Kate Beddow | Aug 8, 2022 | Uncategorised

When we write for therapeutic reasons (often called journaling), we use a very different style of writing to almost any other form of writing. In this blog I am going to compare journaling with business writing, such as a blog, article, newsletter, or even social media post.

Writing is a chameleon. How we write changes dramatically depending on the purpose of the writing and the intended audience.

This weekend I learned this lesson the hard way. I have been on holiday with my family for a week and wasn’t officially back at work, but I needed to send an email to the co-working group, that I run with Asha Clearwater, reminding them that we were having a session this afternoon (I am actually writing this during the session). I would normally have scheduled the email well in advance, but we hadn’t decided on a date before I went away.

When we make mistakes we grow

On Saturday, between trying to get on top of the washing, bake and decorate a birthday cake for my Mum’s 70th birthday, and before going to a BBQ at my inlaws house, I attempted to send the email.

I sat down while the cake was in the oven and quickly tapped out a few lines, using a previous email as a template. I checked the important details and hit send.

It wasn’t until someone replied to the email that I noticed that I had forgotten to change the email subject line. The first thing everyone saw was a title reading: “Are you joining us to write this morning?”. It wouldn’t have been so bad, but I sent the email in the afternoon.

I quickly sent out an apology, but, because I was already flustered and dashing about trying to get everything done, I somehow managed to type: Tuesday afternoon instead of Monday afternoon!

This was brought to my attention by a client who contacted me to check which day it was because she was confused. By now I was stepping out of the door to the BBQ. I quickly replied and explained that it was in fact a Monday session this week before heading over to my in laws for a lovely evening. I had decided now that I should wait until I had more time before contacting everyone again to correct my error.

Writing lessons…

I finally sent an email out this morning with all the right information; dates, times, links etc. I checked and double checked it when I wrote it last night. I knew I was tired after a long drive to Leeds and back and an afternoon of helping my Mum host her birthday party. Despite that, I wasn’t rushing anywhere. I was able to sit, read and re-read, check and double check to make sure everything was as it should be. Which of course, is what I should have done in the first place.

It frustrated me most because, generally speaking, I am very careful with my business related copy. As an ex-teacher, I am acutely aware that spelling or typing mistakes, poor grammar, and rooky errors of any kind in your copy, can make all the difference when you are building a relationship using the written word.

However, I also know the importance of being human and being authentic. So I explained exactly what had happened and why, and turned it into a teaching point, just as I am now! You see for a quick note to a friend to arrange to meet up, what I did would have been fine, because that is a very different style of writing, and for a very different purpose. If I had been writing in my journal, for therapeutic reasons, it would have been perfect, but not for a business email.

What is the difference between therapeutic writing and writing for business?

There are several differences between the way we write for business and therapeutic writing. I will go through a few that I believe are the most important.

1. Tone/Voice

When you write for business you use a more formal version of your authentic voice. It is important to show personality, but not be too familiar, and to still remain professional, whatever that means for you. When you write therapeutically you just write. You don’t worry about what voice you are using, it is usually your true self who takes control of the pen or pencil. You write without worrying about which words you choose or even whether you are making sense, some of the time. The tone of your writing changes dramatically between the two styles of writing.

2. Spelling

When you write for business checking spelling is so important. I can’t tell you how many people I know who click away from a website or unsubscribe from newsletters if there are spelling mistakes.

When you write therapeutically you don’t worry about spelling or handwriting. It doesn’t even matter if you can’t read back what you have written, because the benefit and purpose of the writing is the process, not the finished product.

3. Punctuation

Use of punctuation is very similar to spelling in this context. When you are writing for business purposes it is so important to check that your punctuation allows the reader to understand your message, as this well known example demonstrates:

Let’s eat Grandpa.

Let’s eat, Grandpa.

One rogue, or missing, comma can completely change the meaning of a sentence and the offer you are making or product you are selling. Just as spelling doesn’t matter when you write therapeutically, neither does grammar. You understand the meaning intended as it spills onto the page and that is the objective and all that matters.

4. Grammar

Grammar completes the magic “Spag” which is such a strong focus in schools. Grammar is of course important when we write for others to read. That said there are many things which seem to go undetected by most people these days, and I do sometimes wonder if I am just a bit of a grammar pendant (the word “myself” seems to have almost completely replace “me” no matter where it appears in the sentence, and don’t get me started on Idris Elba using the word “accommodations” in a recent advert for a holiday provider!). I believe it is still important to use good grammar when writing for business though. Now I’m not going to pretend that my grammar is perfect, it isn’t, but I do try hard and I often check things when I am unsure.

Of course when you are journaling for your own benefit, whether you use good grammar matters as little as whether you spell everything correctly or whether you use punctuation.

5. Finally, Proof reading

Of course this brings us right back to the reason for this post. When you are journaling you can write for hours and never, ever read anything you have written. You are not writing in order to record anything (although you may choose to look back), you are using the writing process as a means of accessing information in your unconscious mind, or working through issues you may be having, or even unraveling a particular situation you are struggling with. When you write for business it is so important to re-read everything to check for meaning, perhaps you need to re-arrange a sentence or even a paragraph. Maybe when you re-read it you realise that you need to add a little more information or re-phrase a section so it reads more easily. And of course it is very important to check that any key information is correct; dates, times, links etc.

Do you write for a range of audiences and with different purposes? How does your writing style change? Do you remember to re-read what you have written before you send it or make it live, or are you mostly writing for yourself and it doesn’t matter? Let me know.

Find out more about journaling for exam anxiety:

The power of handwriting

The writing process

5 Ways journaling can help you process big changes

by Kate Beddow | Jul 4, 2022 | Uncategorised

Changes are inevitable.

We are all constantly growing and changing. We might change job, move house, find a new partner, have a child, decorate a room… whether it is a big change or a small change it can be discombobulating.

Many of us have been going through changes recently and some have been harder to handle than others. I think the global pandemic made us all stop and think about our lives and what our priorities are. As a result some people have made big changes in their lives, or had them forced on them.

I have also been going through a period of change. I was forced to make big changes to my businesses almost a year ago when things out of my control impacted my school business. At the time I thought it was a disaster, but with hindsight it was such a blessing.

It is so easy to think that set backs are always for the worse, but sometimes they are just a way for the universe to put you back on the right path. Without that enforced change I would never have found the time to look more at my journal therapy work and the joy that brings, not just me, but my clients.

The power of writing

I have always used writing to help me process change and emotions and being able to guide you to do the same has given me so much joy.

There are so many benefits of writing and taking the time to journal when you are going through a time of change can be a wonderfully healing thing to do.

How does journaling help when you are experiencing changes?

1. Writing down what is happening, helps you to process the events unfurling in your life. When you write things down your brain is able to order and work things out which it may not be able to do when you are just thinking about an issue. When you write in this way your mind works in a different way and you can access new or forgotten facts.

2. Journaling allows you to record the process of change. By writing throughout the process of change you document how your thoughts and feelings around the change evolve and you can look back to see how far you have come.

3. When you journal you are working out any problems too. Often when this change you can hit challenges or issues. By writing throughout you can iron these out along the way rather then them building up to be dealt with later.

4. Journaling keeps you calm. Changes can feel scary. Mostly we like things to stay the same, it is comforting. Change is often necessary though and by journaling through changes you can help yourself stay calm as you move through this transition. Journaling is known to reduce stress and just taking a few minutes to process how you are feeling will help you glide through this time.

5. Journaling helps you discover your true feelings and act on them. When you journal you often make interesting discovering about how you are really feeling about the changes happening. You may think you are scared and discover you are actually excited.

You may think you are really excited about the changes that are happening and when you journal you may discover that you have a few concerns or apprehensions (it is almost always better to be aware of these as soon as possible). Journaling helps you discover your true thoughts. When you learn how you truly feel you can create a brighter future, one that is totally fulfilling.

Journal prompts for times of change

Do you like change or find it challenging? Perhaps you could journal about your beliefs about change.
What is holding you back from making other changes in your life right now?
What do you hope to gain from the current changes you are going through?

Find out more about the benefits of journaling through change:

Your Journal; best friend and therapist

The power of journaling during change

6 Ways writing things down will change your life

by Kate Beddow | Jun 10, 2022 | Uncategorised

You don’t have to be a mind reader to know that I am an advocate for the power of writing.

Over the years writing has helped me in so many ways; to stay organised, to remember things, to process difficult feelings and so much more. I write every day. Sometimes it may just be a couple of lines and others it is pages and pages. Like everyone my days are varied and I don’t really have a daily routine so some days I have more time to write than others, but even on the busiest day, I find time to write.

Why is it so important to me? Well, hopefully once you have read this post you will understand. It grounds me, reminds me and helps me to figure out what is going on in my life. But it is even more than that. Here are the top 6 ways I have found writing has changed my life.

1. Writing helps me remember things

I genuinely don’t know where I would be without my diary, range of notebooks and my to do lists. If I need to remember something I write it down. Not only does that help me to remember whatever it is I have written down, it frees up space in my head for other thoughts. If you don’t make a note of things you need to remember your brain has to keep hold of it and that stops you from being able to process other thoughts, which might be more useful and relevant to your day. If you need to remember something, write it down. It allows your brain to process that information and you often remember it better anyway as it moves to a different part of your memory once it is written down.

2. It creates a record

Many people keep a diary. Whether it is of upcoming appointments or a record of their day, this is a great way to keep track of what you have done and when. My Dad has kept a daily diary for almost 50 years, and while we may occasionally rib him for it, the number of times he is able to go back and pin point an event for us is incredible. As a result I now keep a simple diary myself in the hope that once day I will be able to do the same for myself and my children.

3. It allows you to process difficult emotions

When you talk things through with a friend or loved one you often have a-ha moments and realisations which would otherwise have remained buried. The same thing happens when you write about an issue. It is also easier to write about really difficult issues than it is to talk about them, which is why traditionally we write or text someone when we have something really difficult to say. Writing it down to yourself allows you to go through the same process though.

4. It gives you insight

When you write things down you access different parts of your brains to when you talk. This allows you to gain deep insights into how you are feeling and discover things about yourself that you may have been totally unaware of until that moment. Journaling using a prompt can give you solutions to situations you have been struggling work through. By writing and keeping writing when we believe we have nothing more to say, we can often unearth some really deep insights.

5. It gives you a sense of achievement

When you write things down consistently over time, you can look back and really see how much progress you have made. It is so easy to think that we haven’t achieved anything, yet in reality we are all learning and growing every single day. Writing things down is a wonderful way to chart that progress and help you acknowledge how much you have really progressed.

6. It helps you commit to things

When you write something down you are much more likely to achieve it or work towards it. If you tell someone you are going to do something, you have committed to it and are more likely to follow through. Likewise if you write a goal or a task down, you have made yourself accountable and you are much more likely to succeed. Research shows that you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals just by writing them down every day. If you want to achieve something grab a pen and paper, whether it is weight loss, promotion or your dream partner, get writing.

Have I convinced you yet?

A daily writing habit has been a game changer for me. I started many years ago and I know that it has helped me to deal with mental health issues, it has helped me to process grief and to heal relationships. It allows me to see my personal development and my professional growth and it gives me a wonderful record of myself in a time capsule. I can look back and discover how I was feeling the night I discovered I was pregnant with my children or how I felt when my Grandma died. I feel very honoured to have this ability, after all, not everyone can write. 773 million adults globally are illiterate. Even in the UK over 7 million people are described as having poor literacy skills.

I would love to live in a world where everyone had access to books and writing equipment. Where every child was taught to read and write and appreciate the gift that that is. It would make me so happy to know that everyone in the world could benefit from the power of writing the way I have over the years.

If you are reading this, you are one of the lucky ones. Be thankful for your abilities, and take them to the next level with a daily writing habit. If you don’t know how, get in touch or sign up for my newsletter. I include writing prompts and tips and tricks every week to help you become a confident, contented writer. Just complete the form at the bottom of the page.

Find out more about the importance of writing every day:

Why you should write daily

The power of handwriting

What are your priorities?

by Kate Beddow | May 17, 2022 | Uncategorised

Priorities can be a controversial subject…

One person’s priorities, may not be important to another person. We all have things that we make time for, or put first, and our priorities may change many times in a lifetime.

Recently I have been thinking a lot about priorities and making the right choice over the easy choice. I have made some big changes in my business because it is important to me to be doing what feels right, not necessarily what is easy. There are many things I can do easily, but if I’m not enjoying doing them, then the quality of my life is going to be less than perfect. Quality of life is important to me. It doesn’t matter to me how successful I am if I am unhappy or my loved ones don’t see me. One of those choices is making my family a priority, it always has been.

The last few months have been challenging for my little family, this might be an understatement.

I’ll give you a glipse into the last six weeks:

Covid finally caught up with us at Easter and it took us a while to recover (truthfully I think we still are).
My father in law had a stroke. Not a serious one, thankfully but it shook us all up and as my husband works with his Dad, this has caused work stress as well as family worries for him.
My daughter is due to start her A levels next week, which would be stressful enough but she was disgnoased with anaemia last week and then started with tonsillitis at the weekend.
My son is worrying about his position in his football team and has a few friendship issues.
We have had difficult news about a close family friend who is now in end of life care.

This is just the edited highlights (lowlights might be more accurate!). To say it has been an emotionally charged few months would be an understatement. But my priority is always, and has always been, family and loved ones.

I read so much about the importance of consistency in business, and I know that it is important. When you post on social media regularly, blog every week, send out regular newsletters etc that is how your business grows.

However, I also know that I wouldn’t be being true to myself and my values if I didn’t occasionally have to put my family first. I would not be able to feel good about myself if my business was thriving but my family was falling apart.

Light at the end of the tunnel

Life is like this sometimes isn’t it? We all go through times when we wonder what else life can throw at us, but we get through it eventually. Sometimes it takes linger than others, but nothing is forever.

I am making sure that I am looking after my own wellbeing and upping my vitamins and self care, because at the moment I feel like the glue that is keeping everything together and functioning.

This isn’t a role that is new to me, I cast myself willingly. I am a carer, I can’t help it. I’m good at it too, I would never have said that out loud a few years ago, but I am. You see I care deeply about people. Whether it is a a family member, good friend or client, once I commit to supporting someone they get me 100%.

For the last few weeks I have been doing essential work and fitting that around the needs of my family. My family have come first though. Fortunately I haven’t had to cancel any meetings or appointments, but if I had to I know my clients would understand because part of the reason they chose me is because of my values, my priorities. I would find it hard to work with people who didn’t understand that sometimes our family commitments have to take priority.

Your priorities make you who you are!

Don’t get me wrong, when I commit to working with you, I will move heaven and earth to be there to support you, not just during our sessions either. But I will do the same for my family and friends and sometimes that might mean I don’t get chance to post on social media for a few days. It might mean that I have to postpone our appointment, only if it is absolutely essential, but I will do it. Equally if something comes up at last minute that is a priority for you, I will be understanding.

This too shall pass

When this emotionally charged time is over, I will be back to dividing my focus between family, work and everything else that is important to me. But for now, my family need slightly more attention than usual, and I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t acknowledge that and make the necessary changes. I am so grateful that my business allows me the flexibility to juggle some jobs to weekends or evenings, or whenever I need to, in order to be there for my loved ones.

Don’t worry, my physical and mental health is one of my top priorities too, so I am looking after myself as well as caring for everyone else.

When I work with a professional I look for people with similar values to me. If I have a meeting with someone and they don’t turn up, no email, no call, nothing and when I finally hear from them it is because their child was taken ill and they had to take them to hospital, or their mum had a fall, their best friend’s husband left them last night or even their dog was taken ill, I would respect them even more for having priorities that align with mine. It is so easy to feel annoyed when we are inconvenienced by others, but everyone is human, with crises, emergencies and life events that are unpredictable.

What are your priorities? Do you have more or less respect for someone who puts their loved ones first?

Find out more about what your priorities say about you:

What do your priorities say about you?

What are the top 7 priorities to have in life?

Female friends – Why they are so important