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The Importance of Self Care

by | Mar 5, 2018 | Mindfulness

self care

Self care.

We are told all the time how important it is to practice self care. People like me constantly remind people that if you don’t put your own oxygen mask on first you can’t care for others. Whether you are a parent, a child caring for your parents or working in a caring profession keeping yourself physically and emotionally well is so important.

What is self care?

Put simply, self care is making sure you prioritise your needs, at least some of the time. It is that little nudge to make sure you are feeding your own soul and not just looking after everyone around you.

With Mothering Sunday just round the corner here in the UK it seemed like the perfect time to give you a little reminder, whether you are a mother or not, that putting yourself first sometimes is ok. Better than ok. It is essential!

 How can you practise self care?

There are probably as many ways to practise self care as there are people. We are all different and find joy, and contentment in different things. We can, however, create a list of general rules, which many people seem to find nourishing.

Here are a few ideas

  • Taking a bath
  • Reading a book
  • Going for a walk
  • Meeting friends for a coffee
  • Doing some exercise; running, dancing, golf, football…
  • Creating; painting, crafting, knitting, pottery, woodwork…
  • Cooking
  • Watching a film
  • the list goes on and on

You get the idea.

What you find relaxing and restorative might be another persons idea of hell.

That’s ok.

You might love getting a pedicure and your best friend hates people touching her feet.

You might find colouring calming but your sister finds it infuriating.

That’s not just ok, that’s the point!

If we all found the same things nourishing we would all do them every day and we would all feel permanently cared for and content. The reason we crave doing these activities is because we don’t get the opportunity to do it as often as we would like. Many people, particularly women, but this is not exclusively a female issue, feel guilty when they take time to do something for themselves.

I know I did.

Particularly after I had my daughter. I felt that I should be doing everything she needed and I should be there for her 24/7 otherwise I wasn’t being a “good mum”. 

Fortunately, and I do mean fortunately, I was seriously ill when she was only two years old and I was forced to spend six weeks convalescing miles away from her. At that point I was forced to hand over her care to others, primarily my amazing husband, because my parents were now having to care for me again.

The thought was unbearable. But the reality was liberating. I realised that she was cared for perfectly well. She was dressed, fed and entertained just as well as she would have been in my care (considerably better at that time as I could hardly walk!) and from then on I realised just how important it was to make sure I was fit and well, so that I could enjoy many more years caring for her.

That didn’t mean that I had to do everything all the time though. I started asking people to step in and take over, I began taking little pockets of time to care for myself. It felt great.

“In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.”

Elizabeth Gilbert

Author, Eat Pray Love

Just after my convalescence a good friend bought me a copy of Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. It hadn’t long been out and she felt I should read it. I devoured it and it was a real life changing moment for me. That combined with my illness gave me the nudge I needed. I found the idea of someone just making a decision to leave everything behind and do what made her happy so inspiring. If you haven’t read it and you are struggling to make yourself a priority I recommend it. 

So what will you do today to feed your soul?

How will your nurture yourself? Whatever you decide to do, feel no guilt. You deserve time out too. You deserve treats just as you know everyone around you does. You wouldn’t deprive your child or partner of something which brings them great happiness without good reason, so don’t deprive yourself. 

Happy Mothers Day to all UK Mummies!

Happy International Women’s Day to all you inspirational women!

and Happy “you don’t need an excuse to treat yourself, you deserve it” Day to everyone!

 

It’s never too late to learn to be mindful…

by | Feb 26, 2018 | Mindfulness

It's never too late

Mindfulness wasn’t necessary for previous generations. Life was naturally more mindful. If my Grandad Joe knew that I was teaching people how to breathe properly, how to pay attention to their thoughts, their body, and taste their food he would laugh and think the world had gone mad. I am fairly certain that he would have believed that if you needed to be taught such simple stuff there was no hope for you. (He was a pretty no nonsense Yorkshire man!).

I don’t think he would have been alone in his belief either. I think most people his generation would have found it very difficult to understand that we have drifted so far from nature and paying attention to our daily lives that we need to re-learn all these very basic things.

I have talked many times about the fact that it was Grandad Joe who introduced me to almost all the ideas that I then “learned” during my mindfulness training. So when did we lose this natural mindfulness?

As you know most of my work is teaching mindfulness to children and teachers in schools. I firmly believe that if we can teach children to be more aware of their bodies and their thoughts and emotions at a young age they will grow up using these skills and taking them for granted just as my grandparents generation did.

This week I am changing allegiance!

I am teaching mindfulness to a group of Over 55s and I can’t wait!

 

In my opinion this is the lost generation as far as mental health provision. My parents generation have been immersed in the capitalism of the 1980’s. They have been swept along with the technological revolution and were infected by the “got to be busy” mentality of the end of the last century. This is the generation who were taught that owning possessions was your most important achievement. The women were the first generation who were made to feel that they had to be a high achieving business woman and mother of the year simultaneously. 

As a result, unfortunately, half of adults over the age of 55 in the UK have suffered from depression or anxiety. According to NHS figures that is 7.7 million adults who are living with these often debilitating conditions.

To add to this stress, many are now having to either work for longer than they had been led to believe. Those who have been able to retire are often caring for their grandchildren so that their children can afford to return to work, or caring for their own parents.

Not exactly the relaxing retirement they dreamed of during their working life.

Many people feel that it is harder to talk about their struggles. Whether this is because they were brought up to see them as a weakness, or they feel that they should adopt the stiff upper lip and just get on with it. Of course when my grandparents were growing up depression and anxiety weren’t recognised as medical conditions and it is this attitude which was passed to my parents generation.

So what is the answer?

Well, mindfulness is certainly one solution. Learning to reconnect with nature; taking long walks, gardening or just sitting in the garden listening to the birds (although perhaps not this week, it’s more than a little chilly this week in the UK!). Disconnecting from technology helps. Learning to meditate can be life changing and it has been shown to increase the production of growth hormone helping you look and feel younger.

“One in 4 older people (25 per cent) said they felt it was more difficult for older people to discuss mental health issues such as anxiety or depression, compared to younger people. ” 

NHS statistics

So, today I will be going and introducing myself and mindfulness to the Over 55’s Club in Stafford and hopefully they will be interested and want to find out more.

We will be doing a couple of exercises and talking about how important it is to stay mindful. I will update this blog after my visit to let you know how we got on, but I know we will have a fun afternoon.

If you aren’t fortunate enough to be able to find a group or class to learn mindfulness but it is something you are interested in why not take my online class “and breathe…”?

The Importance of Taking Time Out

by | Feb 14, 2018 | Mindfulness

TIme out

This week is half term for my children and I try to take time out to spend as much time with them as they will allow. They are 9yrs and 13yrs now and we’ve gone from them pestering me to do things with them to me pestering them!

When I first started working for myself I made a promise that I wouldn’t work during the school holidays unless it was absolutely essential. As much of my work is in schools this is easier to stick to but I make an effort not to blog, write newsletters or even spend much time on social media, during the holidays (in case you are calling me a hypocrite right now, I am writing this ready to schedule before the children finish).

It isn’t always easy, and I’m not going to pretend that I never break my self imposed rule, but I try.

Are there times when I have to respond to a work email? Yes

Are there times when I get a burst of inspiration and have to strike while the iron is hot? Yes

But I try.

We take our family time very seriously. As much as the children are quite happy to occupy themselves these days, we all love days out and spending quality time together. We usually try to have at least one memorable day out during each school holiday and often have mini breaks if we can manage it.

We are fortunate to have a close family. For the last few years we have had a big crazy holiday in the summer with anything up to sixteen close family members all in a barn conversion or similar and we love it!

But you don’t have to spend time with anyone to have time out. Sometimes what we need the most is an hour in the bath or a quiet walk alone – even in the middle of our fabulous big family escapes we all take time to be alone. It’s important.

 

Why is it important to take time out?

Well, there are lots of reasons. Most people need their own space to recharge sometimes. Taking some time alone can be very healing. It gives us time to look after our own needs without having to consider others. That might sound selfish but most of us live our lives making sure everyone else is cared for and often at the expense of our own needs being fully met.

Stepping away from work is also really important. Allowing our minds to fully switch off from the projects and demands of the job helps us to return feeling refreshed and with renewed enthusiasm for the task in hand. As a solopreneur (gosh I hate that word, is there a better one?) when I take time out nothing happens within the business. I can schedule blog posts and newsletters, I can schedule social media posts, but nothing is created unless I am creating.

When I first started my business this terrified me, in every other job I had ever done there was an understudy. A colleague who would step in if I was ill or on holiday. Now it’s just me. Yes I have people who help me with aspects of my business, but no-one else is responsible for my business but me.

For a long time I didn’t dare step away for more than a day at a time in case everything crumbled around me. But over the years I’ve realised that if I don’t step away and take time out my business can’t flourish. I need time away for my brain to be empty enough for new ideas to flood in – and they always do! I may step away from the business for holidays now but I always return with a long list of notes and ideas to implement as soon as I am back to work.

Really make the most of your time out…

Taking time out doesn’t mean having a week off work to decorate the lounge, (although sometimes that might be necessary), it means really nurturing yourself. Caring for you. Indulging yourself. 

I can’t tell you what this should include because we are all different.

You might want to go for a run or have a round of golf?

You might want a hot bath and a good book?

 

“Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” 

Lucille Ball

Maybe you love going to the theatre and never get chance to go or you have been meaning to tidy up the garden and that would make you really happy?

Perhaps you enjoy having a massage or getting your nails done?

As you can see these aren’t week long indulgences, they may take an hour, an afternoon or a day. Whatever you choose to do though, choose something that really makes you happy.  You may want to be alone or you might be craving some quality time with your son/daughter, your mum/dad, your brother/sister or your best friend. The thing that might be most enjoyable for you might be having a cuppa and a catch up with a loved one and that is perfect.

 

It isn’t about what you are doing, it is about how it makes you feel.

 

When we reward ourselves our body releases dopamine and makes us feel happy. Our stress levels are instantly lowered and our body relaxes. If we don’t allow ourselves regular time out our stress levels can build over time and then we get frustrated and short tempered, our sleep is affected and we are not happy at all.

Taking time out isn’t selfish.

Quite the opposite. If we don’t care for ourselves we cannot care for others. We cannot do our best at whatever task we are undertaking. We owe it to ourselves and those around us to be the best version of ourselves we can be and without self care that won’t be possible.

 

How will you take time out today?

The Health Benefits of Listening to Music

by | Feb 13, 2018 | Mindfulness

Music

If you are someone who enjoys music you will take very little convincing that there are health benefits to both listening to and playing music.

I have always loved music.

One of my earliest memories is of dancing round the front room at home, singing to Super Trouper. One of my most treasured possessions when I was still in a pushchair was my Abba magazine.

My love of music grew as I did. I learned to play recorder and flute at school and I sang, all the time – ask my family!

I met my husband through music, he is a musician, and both our children are very musical.

Music is very important in our lives.

I think most of us would agree that music can dramatically affect your mood. Whether it is hearing your favourite song on the radio, hearing a song that reminds you of someone you miss, or the DJ putting on your favourite disco track at a party. The power of a good tune can take a grumpy day and make it bright or move you to tears thinking of a lost love. You can be instantly transported to a memory and immediately get goosebumps listening to a new track.

Over the years there has been so much research about the impact of music on the brain. Links between language and mathematical problem solving and musical ability have long been documented. It has also long been understood that learning a musical instrument strengthen parts of the brain, which are then permanently changed, whether you continue to play or not.

Dan, my little music lover, playing his ukulele
Listening to music releases dopamine, the feel good chemical, the same chemical which is released when we eat chocolate or we laugh.  It makes us happy.

Studies have shown that people required less pain medication if they were listening to music and people who were able to choose what they listened to required the least pain relief.

Over recent years it has become increasingly popular for women to create a labour playlist. These vary dramatically but if they have chosen the tracks themselves, according to research they will have the greatest impact.

It has also often been documented that people with Alzheimers (most famously The Songaminute Man) can still remember all the words to songs they sang and become increasingly animated when listening to music.

People who have debilitating stutters can rap or sing without a problem and can often talk more easily when listening to music.

Music stimulates our emotions.

It not only triggers memories, but can help us remember information.

It can focus our attention (although we all have to turn it down as we get nearer to a new destination when driving!).

It can help create new neurological pathways and heal the brain when there has been damage.

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” 

Bob Marley

Musician

Whether you are feeling tired or sad and need a pick me up, or you are feeling energised and need to relax, music may just be the answer.

The song that made you smile yesterday though, might not be what you want to listen to at all today, and that’s fine. Find something else to listen to.

As a family we recently subscribed to an online music provider and it has widened our choices infinitely. We are all enjoying being able to listen to new albums without having to commit to buying as well as revisiting old favourites and long lost treasures. At the same time we are also playing our old vinyl more than ever, and even adding to our vinyl collection. However, you choose to listen to music; MP3, mini disc, CD, tape, Vinyl, 8 track… enjoy it! That’s the most important thing.

 

 

If you have enjoyed reading this article why not take a look at some of my other recent blogs: 

5 Ways being organised reduces your stress and anxiety

Starting your day with 5 mindful minutes

 

5 Ways being organised reduces stress and anxiety

by | Feb 5, 2018 | Mindfulness

5 Simple ways

Being organised is one of my superpowers.

I don’t know whether it is just something you are born with or something you learn but my Mum is the same. As soon as we hear about an event, or realise we need to do something, the cogs start turning, the lists are started and invariably we have done so much before the actual event that we are left with a feeling that we must have forgotten something.

You may be nodding with a wry smile of understanding.

Equally you may be feeling a bubble of annoyance. If you are always a bit last minute, dashing round and arriving late or forgetting things, don’t worry. I have some easy ways to help you be more organised and reduce your stress and anxiety levels.

But first let’s look at the 5 ways being more organised can reduce your stress and anxiety levels.

 

How does being disorganised affect your life?

  • You arrive late
  • You forget important items 
  • You lose things; keys, phone etc
  • You miss events altogether
  • You miss opportunities

 

All of this is absolutely fine, as long as it doesn’t bother you. When it becomes an issue is when it impacts on your happiness and your mental health because you find it stressful being late, you get anxious when you can’t find your keys… 

I know lots of people who are totally disorganised. They are never on time, their desk is a mess. They regularly miss events all together and are constantly looking for something they have misplaced. But they are mostly very creative, very warm, friendly people and many of them just laugh it off and know it is part of who they are. That is great. I couldn’t do it but we’re all different.

If, however, you feel anxious about the result of your disorganisation that’s when you need to make some simple changes. Being organised doesn’t have to be difficult, in fact it is often much easier than you might think.

Here are my top tips to get organised:

Use a diary 

I have a paper diary, a calendar on the wall and a calendar in my phone too. My phone is for quick reference and so I know where my husband is too. As soon as I arrange something it goes in my phone if it is personal and in my paper diary if it is work related, then once a week, at least, I transfer everything across and make sure it is all up to date. I make sure I include what the children are doing and where they need to be (because that often still involves me getting them there). This is particularly important in business. If you say you are going to email/call them make a note in your diary – and CHECK YOUR DIARY EVERY MORNING! It’s no good writing things in there if you’re not going to look at it!

Have a place to keep things and use it

I’m not even going to pretend that I am a naturally tidy person because someone would call me out. It turns out being organised and being tidy are two very different skills. I have learned over the years though that I have to have a home for things which are important because I hate not being able to find things easily.

So, my keys live in the same place, I put them there are soon as I come in the house. I also put them in the same pocket in my handbag for the same reason. The same is true for my phone, my purse, my card holder, my diary. I always put them in the same place, the same pocket of my bag etc so I know where they are, and I can always find them. 

Do things as soon as you find out about them

I pay bills as soon as I get them. I deal with paperwork as soon as it arrives. I reply to emails as soon as I see them. I get projects finished as soon as I can. Leaving things until last minute is a sure fire way to either forget to do them, to lose something you need to do them, or else you remember at last minute and dash round panicking trying to get things done.

Make lists

If you are in any way disorganised, or, let’s be honest, even if you are mega organised, lists are your best friend! Don’t create lists on scraps of paper though, get a notebook and keep all your reminders together. I have lists for everything: shopping, places I want to visit, books I want to read, what I need to do today, what blogs I’m going to write…

I do sometimes write lists on the backs of envelopes etc, but that is when it is a short term list and very specific. So if we have people coming to stay I might create a list of things to remember to do: change beds, clean bathrooms, put the vac round, get the chicken out of the freezer etc. That I might do on a scrap of paper, but anything more important than that goes in my notebook.

 

 

Being organised doesn’t have to be time consuming, in fact it usually takes less time than being disorganised. It is though about structure, about priorities and about believing you are worth it.

Being disorganised is often a way we self sabotage and hold ourselves back. We can’t possibly do that because we’re not organised enough.

You deserve to have every opportunity and to make the most of every single day. So, put your keys away, write that get together in your diary and enjoy the calm that organisation brings to your life.

 

“Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.” 

A.A. Milne

Author and Creator of Winnie the Pooh

Starting your day with 5 mindful minutes

by | Jan 30, 2018 | Mindfulness

5 mindful minutes

Starting your day with 5 mindful minutes could change your life!

That’s what a big business marketer will tell you. 

Is it true?

Well if you choose to let it then yes it is.

How do you start your day?

Do you bounce out of bed raring to go?

Maybe you hit the snooze button repeatedly hoping the day will never begin? However your morning starts, whatever you do in the morning, how you spend the first hour of your day can set you up for success or failure.

I’m not talking about business success, financial success, though they may be an added bonus. You can decide in the first hour of your day how your day will go. Will it be a good day? Will you be calm and happy all day?

Do you start your day with a shower?

A coffee?

Do you dash about, always running late? 

If you know that your mornings would benefit from a little more mindfulness, a bit more calm, I have the perfect gift for you!

I have created a short ebook which gives you loads of ideas to start your day mindfully, better still, most of them don’t even mean finding any extra time. Simply shifting your mindset as you go about your morning tasks will help you start your day in a calm and contented way.

So where can you get your copy?

My new ebook is my gift to you as a thank you for signing up to my newsletter. I send out a weekly newsletter with mindfulness techniques, self care ideas and relaxation tips. I only send out one newsletter a week (although there is an introductory sequence, so please don’t panic about that, that’s just to help you get to know me better), you can unsubscribe at any time too.

To get your copy of “Start your day with 5 mindful minutes” simply complete the form below this blog. 

Every day Mindfulness

by | Jan 22, 2018 | Mindfulness

Every day mindfulness

We hear so much about mindfulness and the benefits these days.

Everyone seems to be jumping on the bandwagon. But is it a bandwagon? The reason I love mindfulness so much is because I was practising mindfulness before I had even heard of it. Everyday mindfulness is, for me, one of the most beautiful parts of this magical concept.

Long before Jon Kabat-Zinn formalised Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction as a therapy everyone was mindful, every day. It was my Grandad Joe who introduced me to mindful living. He unknowingly passed on almost all of the skills I now use while taking walks through the countryside, camping or whittling a stick. He taught me about the seasons and the importance of being present. Listening to the sounds around you. Eating slowly and really tasting your food. Stretching and looking after your body. Sitting quietly in nature. Grandad Joe was a zen master.

As I grew older Grandad Joe taught me about nature; the names of birds, trees and flowers. He taught me about foraging and how to fish (which I hated, because I couldn’t kill the fish and panicked if they didn’t swim away immediately!). We spent hours talking and making things out of wood; walking sticks, bows and arrows and even a doll’s cot for my sister.

Practical, physical work necessitates mindfulness.

If you get distracted while using a saw or a hammer you are probably going to hurt yourself. If you are whittling a stick with a penknife and you don’t pay attention it hurts. Our ancestors had no choice but to be present, be mindful.

Grandad Joe

I adored Grandad Joe, he was such a gentle, kind man. He oozed wisdom and calm. He could be stern when he needed to be too, but to my sister and I, and all his grandchildren, he was the original BFG. 

Grandad Joe wasn’t alone though in his attitude. I think it was amplified by the fact he grew up in the countryside but I believe that mindfulness is only necessary since our lives became so busy, so filled with technology and so static. Previous generations didn’t need to be present, they had to be.

My grandmas were too busy baking bread, washing the clothes by hand, looking after the children, cooking, sewing and sweeping the floors to be thinking about what happened yesterday or worrying about what might happen tomorrow for too long. My grandads were too busy working manual jobs, gardening, building things and mending things they had to concentrate and stay present otherwise they would have been injured. 

Of course being mindful doesn’t mean you have to wash your clothes by hand and leave the conveniences of modern life behind but it is often in going back to a simpler time that we capture the essence of mindfulness again effortlessly. We escape the captivity of screens and remember to see the real world.

When I was in my twenties, just after I started teaching, I suffered from depression. The doctor signed me off for two weeks. I was heartbroken and relieved simultaneously. I was off work, but I wasn’t physically ill. Bored and not wanting to spend too much time in my head I decided to decorate the spare room.

It was the perfect remedy. When you paint a wall you have to concentrate on covering every bit of the wall with the paint, cutting in neatly and you are completely present. 

“Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing” 

Jon Kabat-Zinn

Founder of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction

Last weekend I revisited this magical therapy as I painted the children’s bathroom. I spent Sunday colouring lilac walls in with white paint. Not thinking about what jobs I had to do this week, not thinking about what we were going to have for dinner. We have a great arrangement in our house. I decorate and hubby cooks, not at all the 1940’s stereotypes that worked for my grandparents, but it works for us!

It was as calming as going on a retreat.

I have many little everyday mindfulness rituals:

  • Decorating
  • Baking – particularly bread, the kneading is so therapeutic
  • Gardening
  • Journaling
  • Crafting
  • Reading
  • Showering
  • Washing up
  • Cleaning

None of these things are in addition to my daily routine, they just seamlessly blend with my every day life. It isn’t always about what you do, it’s about how you do it.

[bctt tweet=”Being mindful isn’t about what you are doing, it is about how you do it.” username=”KateBeddowUK”]

Drinking a hot drink, for me a cup of tea, is a great opportunity to be mindful too. I’m not suggesting for a minute that every cup of tea I drink I manage to drink mindfully. As I write this I am mindlessly sipping on my tea, but particularly on a cold day, there are few things as magical as really taking time to appreciate a nice warm drink. It is so comforting.

If you are unsure what I mean by mindfully drinking, try this:

  • Pick up your hot drink.
  • Feel the warmth of the drink in your hands, you can close your eyes if you like.
  • Now hold your drink up to your mouth but don’t drink, just let the steam warm your face and smell the drink.
  • Take several big deep smells of your drink and slowly breathe out as though you are cooling your drink.
  • When you are ready take a sip: Is it cool enough to drink? Feel the warmth of the drink in your mouth? Feel it moving through your chest and down into your stomach?
  • You can repeat these steps as many times as you like.

Whatever you are doing today, think about the jobs you do mindfully.

What jobs could you do in a more mindful way?

Simple everyday changes can make a huge difference to how you feel.

Winter Writing Calendar

by | Nov 20, 2017 | Mindfulness

Winter Writing Calendar

I love a chocolate advent calendar as much as the next person, but at this time of year I start to reflect on the past year and make plans for the coming year. 

I love to journal about all the things I have achieved this year and things I have done and then create a vision board of all the things I want to achieve in the coming year. 

If there is one thing I have learned it is that if I enjoy something then there are other people out there who do too. 

Yes! I want my Winter Writing Calendar!

What is a winter writing calendar?

Every day I will send you a quick email with a writing prompt to help you explore many different aspects of this festive time of year. You will also get a poem, short video or mindfulness technique to help you explore winter wellness and how writing can help you to support your wellbeing at this challenging time of year. 

You don’t need any previous experience to take part, just something to write with and something to write on. 

 

Yes! I want my Winter Writing Calendar!

You might choose to treat yourself to a new notebook or use the back of envelopes. You can add it to your existing yournal if you have one or write it on your phone notes. The choice is yours. 

You can spend 5 minutes a day or 50 minutes a day exploring the writing prompts and if you have a busy day you can catch up whenever you have chance, this is an enjoyable activity not a chore.

Writing can often seem like a solitary process but it is so much more fun when we share our writing and talk to other bibliophiles. Why not follow me on social media for more healing writing tips?

If you love words and would like a gentle journaling prompt straight to your inbox every day of advent sign up below.

 

Why you need to start practising mindfulness

by | Nov 9, 2017 | Mindfulness

Start being mindful today

People often ask me “Why should I start practising mindfulness?” and “Mindfulness is just a phase isn’t it?” Well, the short answer is “No?” but I’m guessing you are going to want a little more than that.

Mindfulness has become increasingly popular in recent years and that is no doubt thanks to Jon Kabat-Zinn who created his Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction programme in 1979. Since then it has slowly grown in popularity. 

I had never heard of mindfulness until about 10 years ago, despite this I had been living mindfully my entire life, so how can that be true?

Well, as with many things, the programme created by Jon Kabat-Zinn draws on very ancient wisdom and teachings from Buddhism and Hinduism to ancient nature based belief systems. Much of what I learned when studying mindfulness I had always known and did naturally already. 

So how did I already have all this wisdom? Well, it’s thanks to these two wonderful people; my Grandad Joe and Grandma Mary (yes I know my grandparents were Mary and Joseph, and my Grandad was even a carpenter, how awesome is that?). I was lucky that throughout my life all my grandparents were omnipresent, we had meals together at the weekend, went on holiday together and spent a lot of quality time together. I was also incredibly blessed to still have three grandparents when my son was born so they were in my life a long time.

 

 

Grandad Joe grew up in a village in York. He grew up understanding the seasons, knowing about nature; birds, fish, animals, trees, he knew when food was in season, he understood how we interacted with our surroundings. He loved walking in the countryside and teaching us about hazelnuts, acorns, buzzards and starlings. He understood the importance of physical and mental fitness. He would stretch every morning and not just his arms and legs (he could still touch his toes when he died at the age of 90!) but also his lungs, he would always take several deep breaths out of the window, and even his eyes. He taught me eye exercises which he felt would help my eyes stay healthy, I have since seen articles recommending just these exercises as they can repaid damages to sight.

To say he was knowledgeable would be an understatement. He was like the mythical Green Man. Wisdom oozed from him and as a child I loved learning all he had to share. 

Yes Kate, that’s all very well, but why do you feel so passionately that I should learn to be mindful?

Well, if you need more reason than the fact that my Grandad Joe lived to be 90, never took any medication and could still touch his toes when he died, (and I’m not sure I need more reason than that if I’m honest!) I’ll give you some of the science behind this magical way of living.

 

As they said in a well known advert “Now for the science bit”!

“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness.” 
Jon Kabat-Zinn

Creator of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Therapy
What are the benefits of mindfulness?

People who practised mindfulness regularly reported:

  • feeling less stressed
  • better quality sleep
  • improved focus and memory
  • greater empathy for others
  • they felt calmer
  • feeling less anxious
  • and much more.
How can you learn to be more mindful?

Mindfulness is just about paying attention.

It is about living in the here and now.

Not allowing our monkey brains to play tricks on us.

What can you do every day to be more mindful?

Stop to think about what you are eating, how does it taste?

Did you really feel like eating it or was it just quick and easy?

Really look at the world around you.

Really listen to what people are saying when they talk to you.

And most importantly… breathe…

We all breathe, all the time, but how often do we stop to pay attention to our breath? This is one of the most powerful things you can do if you are feeling anxious or stressed. Just stop and focus for a few moments on your breathing.

Try this simple mindfulness exercise

Take a few minutes now just to sit and tune in to your breathing. You don’t have to alter it, or slow it down, just become aware of it. You may close your eyes if it helps. 

Feel your breath as it enters your body, filling your chest and stomach. 

You may notice the breath in your nostrils, or your chest. 

Feel your lungs expand as they fill with air and pause briefly before they begin to deflate. 

When you have finished breathing out notice how there is a natural pause before your lungs begin to re-inflate. 

With your next breathing cycle try to focus on the pause. 

Now, as you breathe in think the word “I” and as you breathe out think the word “am”. 

“I, am” 

How do you feel now?

Do you feel calmer?

More relaxed?

Did you notice anything about your body?

This is the essence of mindfulness. 

Want to learn to be more mindful? Sign up for my 8 week mindfulness course

Want to learn mindfulness?
There is so much more I could tell you about mindfulness and I will over the coming weeks and months. I will keep adding little tips and tricks to my news page.

I am also currently in the process of creating a free gift for those of you who sign up for my newsletter.

If you want to make sure you don’t miss out why not sign up now because I will of course be sending my gift out to current subscribers too. 

“The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion.”

Thích Nhất Hạnh

MCM Comic Con London – a magical day!

by | Oct 29, 2017 | Uncategorised

Never in a million years did I ever think I would be asked to speak on a panel at MCM Comic Con London. But yesterday I did just that along with some of the other members of the Become the Force team; Jo Angel, Daniel M Jones and Dan Jones.

I am not even going to pretend that I wasn’t a little nervous as I approached the imposing ExCel building and saw the swarms of people. Wow am I glad I stepped out of my comfort zone and agreed to do this event though!

As I walked along the dock surrounded by Power Rangers, Disney princesses, Dr Who Characters, every costume you can imagine I realised that unlike anywhere else I had ever been, everyone fit in. Everyone felt comfortable. Whatever your passion, whatever your gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, age or religion you can turn up at Comic Con and experience a warmth and energy like I have never experienced anywhere else.

All day we talked to complete strangers and were met with friendly, happy responses. People felt completely comfortable paying each other complements and asking for photos with other visitors knowing they would be met with smiles and joy. A total stranger ask me for a photo. I was a little shocked but of course agreed (my costume was tame compared to most!), but I asked her curiously why she wanted a photo of me and her reply was simply; “I like your face”. Where in the world would that happen other than Comic Con.

Meeting the rest of the team

Trying to find anyone was almost impossible. I managed to get enough phone signal to meet up with Ian and the children after we had to enter through different ends of the building, but it’s a good job the panel had already arranged to meet outside the Platinum Suite before we arrived otherwise we would have been lost in sea of cosplay.

I had already met a few of the Become the Force team and it was great to get together with them again.  Some of the trainers I had not yet, until yesterday, had the opportunity to meet; Dan Jones (an amazing hypnotist and author), Sonia Ducie (the UK’s leading Numerologist) and Daniel M Jones, Founder of the Church of Jediism and author of the book Become the Force: 9 Lessons on How to Live as a Jediist Master.

There has been an instant bond between all the team members every time we have got together. The lovely Dan Jones, (who I have talked to online but met in person for the first time yesterday), arrived and presented me with a pile of his books! He thought might be useful in my work with children and schools. Such a thoughtful and generous gift, it took my breath away. They are wonderful books too I can’t wait to use them.

I can’t explain it, but every person I have met in association with this amazing movement, I have felt instantly at ease with and a genuine warmth and love for. It makes working together such a joy.

I managed to find Jo first so we decided to go down to the autograph area and talk to Warwick Davis to see whether he would be free to come and join the panel. Warwick is a well known supporter of the Church of Jediism and we thought it was worth a try. Unfortunately, he was unable to come along as he was scheduled to be signing autographs, but it was such a pleasure to talk to him and meet him in the flesh. (My children are very jealous now as they love him and only glimpsed him from a distance.)

 

It is never easy introducing a new concept or idea to the world, but one thing which became clear very quickly was how passionate the panel all are about this project. We all have different backgrounds and expertise, but, we are all involved because we want to help people and to make the world a better, more accessible and accepting place.

The panel went brilliantly (even if I do say so myself!). We all took a deep breath and just talked from the heart about why we got involved and what the movement means to us. Whether you buy into the philosophy we are promoting or not, there is no question that the people involved in this movement are dedicated, passionate individuals who care deeply.

I’m delighted to say that we have already been asked back next year, which is amazing.

What next?

Well, today I am exhausted. We went down to London as a family on Friday to go to the History of Magic, Harry Potter Exhibition at the British Library so I have had two days of walking round London and being on my feet a lot. So, today I am resting, writing and doing many interesting things that I can access from my seated position.

As for the Become the Force team, we will all be getting together again very soon, at the YouTube headquarters in London, for the book launch on the 23rd November, so that will be very exciting. The website is also launching that day, and the course I have created will then be available, along with everyone else’s amazing teachings.

After that? Who knows.

It is a very exciting movement which does not seek to indoctrinate or convert (you can be a Christian Jediist or a Buddhist Jediist) so it is completely inclusive. What it seeks to do is empower, educate, enlighten and explain.

 

 

If you would like to read more about Kate’s involvement with Become the Force you can read her blog Why I decided to Become the Force or visit Become the Force.

If you would like to pre-order the book you can do so here: Become the Force: 9 Lessons on How to Live as a Jediist Master.