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Are the clues to your passions found in your childhood?

by | Sep 26, 2022 | Uncategorised

Are the clues to your passions found in your childhood?

Our childhood passions are often the most intense of our lives. You only need to think of a child who is obsessed with dinosaurs, superheroes or Harry Potter and the know everything there is to know. Their every thought seems to be consumed with their passion and nothing stops them in persuit of more knowledge and experiences to feed that passion.

As adults our passions tend to become more diluted. Our time is taken up with other “more important” things and we often forget our passions altogether. 

 

What if we took a moment to revisit our childhood passions and see if they still light us up though?

Perhaps colouring is still something you would enjoy. Maybe all those hours you spent making perfume out of rose petals were a clue about what career you should be pursuing.  One of my passions is encouraging people to follow their passions and live the life of their dreams and I have realised over the years just how many clues there have been showing me my dream career and I didn’t always choose to listen, do we ever?

As a small child I loved book. I began writing my own books on my Mum’s typewriter. I loved kneeling up at the coffee table and typing out my little imaginings. It made me feel so grown up and like I was a real writer. I loved trips to the local library, in my home village of Gildersome. It was nothing fancy, but the smell of the books and the shelves and shelves of possibility filled me with excitement. I slowly worked my way through Dorrie the Little Witch, onto The Chronicles of Narnia and the Dr Dolittle series and finally reading The Lord of the Rings books, with many other books along the way. I loved to read, but it was more than that. I loved being surrounded by books.  I loved my trips to the library so much that I even created my own little library. I put cards in pockets inside all my comics and let the children on my street borrow them. 

Kate Reading
Kate the Girl Guide

Be prepared!

I was a Girl Guide and one of the badges I had to achieve in order to get my Baden Powell Award, was my Service Flash (the longest badge on my shoulder). This badge required you do 40 hours of community service, which had to be documented. I went down to my local library and asked whether it would be possible to do my Service Flash with them. They agreed and so began one of the best times of my life. 

Every Monday night after tea I walked down to the library and spent two hours putting books back on the shelves, learning about the Dewey decimal system, re-covering the books to protect the covers and… the best bit of all… stamping the books people took out and sorting out the library cards and filing them in the right place in the racks and racks of cards.

I was in book heaven!

Gildersome Library

In addition to that, I borrowed books every week while I was there so I was reading even more than usual. It was such a great time. I was 13 years old and surrounded almost exclusively by pensioners but I was also surrounded by books.

Words have been a theme throughout my life, whether reading, writing, speaking or singing I have always had a deep interest in words and their many and varied uses. Their ability to heal and upset. The way they can bring people together in song or exclude people. I have written blogs, lesson plans, diaries, poems, contributed to books, I even wrote for the local newspaper when I was at school, having theatre reviews published. Despite all this, it took me many, many years to realise that this is what makes me truly happy. 

I have always tried hard to do jobs that make me truly happy and everything I have ever done I have enjoyed. The work I am doing now though goes deeper than that. I am in my element. I look at my life and realise that every job I have ever done has been a stepping stone. It has given me skills I needed, and I enjoyed every step. But supporting people using the power of words is a deep, calling that I never dreamed could be a reality. 

Kate Writing

Of course, when I was writing stories in the caravan all those years ago, the work I am blessed to do now didn’t exist. There was no such thing as a coach, apart from in a sporting context or as a mode of transport you used to go on school trips! The idea of using writing to help people live their best lives would have been unheard of. 

Had I not gone through all the self discovery that was required when I completed my Life Purpose Coaching course during the pandemic. I did the course to pass the time I never thought it would lead me to some deep self discovery. At that point I was convinced that my work with schools was my passion. After all I was a teacher and in the same way I used to create libraries and write stories, I used to play schools. That was where I was meant to be wasn’t it?

Well, it turned out that wasn’t the case. Suddenly everything in my life started pointing me down a different road. I loved working with schools, but as always with education, there were more and more hoops to jump through and ever increasing pressures on funding meant that my school work slowly dried up a year ago and I was finally free to persue my true passion. 

Sometimes we need a nudge don’t we? Whilever I was busy in schools I would never have left that work behind. Suddenly I had the time to think about really moving in the direction of my dreams. While I’m still not crystal clear about exactly what my long term plans are, I know that writing and coaching will always be a part of who I am and what I contribute to the world. 

I want to invite you to stop and think about the things you really enjoyed as a child. Perhaps you have buried your childhood so deep that you can’t remember any more. If you would like some gentle, nurturing support to help you explore this subject I would love to hold your hand as you walk the path towards your passions and living a life of fulfillment and joy. 

Find out more about following your passions:

Are you still learning who you really are?

9 tips on how to find your passion in life

 

Do you follow your dreams?

by | Sep 13, 2022 | Uncategorised

5 Reasons to follow your dreams

This week my daughter goes to university to start a Creative Writing course. I am filled with several emotions, but I have to admit one of the dominant emotions I am experiencing is envy. I am envious of the fact that she is fulfilling a life long ambition, that she has always known that this is where she would end up and she has made it happen. 

You see when she was 4 years old she came home from school and announced she was going to be an “author”. They had been reading a book and the teacher had gone through all the keywords around books for her age group and she had discovered that an author is the person who writes the story. That was it. She was going to be an author. Never once has she deviated from this belief. Her first word was book (well, technically it was “ook” but she was pointing to the book that was just out of reach!) and it has been her one passion ever since.

During lockdown she wrote a Dr Who fan fiction which has to date been read by almost 50k people, all around the world. She has mentored other writers online and she is now going out into the world to hone her craft, and learn all about the publishing industry.

Any dream will do…

When I was younger I had many dreams; writing, singing and teaching. I was never as focused as my daughter. Despite this I have managed to fulfil all of them to one degree or another. 

I initially went to college to do performing arts, after years of school productions and amateur dramatics. Then when I decided a career in singing wasn’t for me, I still kept it up as a hobby. My husband and I met through singing and did a few gigs together before we had children. I even sang at the London Palladium, which was an absolute dream come true.

 

When I decided not to pursue singing I qualified as a teacher and taught many different age ranges and subjects during my teaching career. Since I had my children I have been teaching, but out of the school system, and I now use writing both for things like creating articles and blogs to share information, and also as a therapeutic tool. 

I count myself as incredibly lucky that I have had the opportunity to follow my dreams and choose the dream that fits that particular time in my life. I do wonder though, whether it would have made for an easier life if I had just had one passion to pursue.

Teaching

 No regrets?

I am grateful though that I was brave enough to follow my heart and do what made me happy at the time. By the time I left teaching, I wasn’t enjoying it any more. It wasn’t the teaching, but the system that was broken. I was glad I had ideas about other things I could do instead, things which would make me just as happy as teaching, other dreams to follow. 

Many people I speak to have been stuck in jobs they hate since they left school, either because they don’t know what their dream is, or because they aren’t brave enough to take that step. It makes me sad to hear people talking about paths they could have taken but they weren’t brave enough. Dreams they could have followed. 

Singing

I only have one regret when it comes to following my dreams and that is the fact that at the end the first year of my teaching degree, a friend of mine (who played Sunday league football with one of the band), told me that The Beautiful South were auditioning for a new female vocalist and he had got me an audition for that weekend. It was a dream come true, they were one of my favourite bands (still are) and although I will never know whether my voice was right for them, or even if it was good enough, I wish I had been brave enough to try.

 I decided that I was enjoying my teacher training and that I didn’t want to throw away that first year. In reality I was scared. Scared that they would laugh at me. Scared of the huge changes it would mean to my life if I did get in. I wish I had been brave enough to find out though.

Is there something you have always dreamed of doing but you haven’t been brave enough to take that first step? 

Remember the Mark Twain quote:

“We regret the things we don’t do more than the things we do.”

Here are my top 5 reasons why it is important to follow your dreams:

1. It will make you happy!

2. To prove them wrong. The naysayers, the voices in your head… whoever it is telling you you can’t do it!

3. You only live once.

4. They make life worth living.

5. To earn a living – you are more likely to do something well if you enjoy it.

 

What can you do today to move you closer to your dreams?

Find out more:

The Benefits of Singing

Taking a leap

How to follow your dreams

 

Is your life changing? You need to read this.

by | Sep 2, 2022 | Uncategorised

Going through big changes blog

Life is changing all the time…

We grow, situations change and life moves on from one day to the next. Occassionally though something happens which changes life in a big way. It may be a change of job, the start of a new relationship, or the end of an old one, the death of a loved one or the birth of a child. Often we are expecting this change, but it doesn’t necessarily make that change easier to deal with. 

Life is constantly changing.

This time of year brings many changes too. The weather changes, the leaves on the trees will soon be changing and children are starting school, changing class and even leaving home to start new chapters at boarding school or university.

As an ex-teacher I am particularly in tune with the changes that happen in the Autumn. I would have been adding the finishing touches to my new classroom and preparing for my new class at this time of year. I still get the urge to buy new stationery and a new school bag, and I still use an academic diary. This time of year still feels like new year more than January 1st to me, I suppose because I spent so many years in education. 

This year I am gearing up for one of the biggest changes of my adult life; my daughter going to university.

I have been trying to mentally and physically prepare for this change ever since she changed her mind about wanting to go, about two years ago. I am slowly realising though that it doesn’t matter how much pasta I have bought for her to take with her, I have still not processed the fact that in two short weeks she will be moving 120 miles away. Not only that, she will only be 4 miles from my best friend, my sister Jen, and I will still be 120 miles away from both of them!

I have, of course, been journaling about this imminent change, but I have realised that I am not fully able to process it. Why? Because it hasn’t happened yet. I was talking to my sister about it recently, her eldest is starting high school this week, that is a big change for their family too. She commented that she didn’t think she could process it fully because she doesn’t know how she is going to feel.

It’s true isn’t it?

We can’t know how we are going to feel about something that hasn’t happened yet. 

Autumn changes

Journaling is a powerful tool and one I would recommend to anyone, but it is a tool for processing events and emotions we have already experienced. I can journal about the wonderful memories we have created this summer, but what I cannot do is process my daughter leaving home, because it hasn’t happened yet. 

Similarly, if we are unhappy in our relationship, we can journal about the emotions we are feeling, but we can’t write about the end of that relationship until it has actually ended.

There are times when journaling can be used to project what we want to happen in the our lives. We may write a letter to our future self or journal about business goals we have, we may even discover ambitions we were unaware of while we journal, but this is a different form of journaling and a subject for another blog. When we use journaling to heal emotionally, we have to have already experienced those emotions. 

Autumn changes 2

We want to start processing those big emotions before the time is right, because we know they may be overwhelming if we wait until we are in the eye of the storm. It may be possible to start processing how we feel about these big changes, but we can’t possibly know exactly how we will feel until they are here, with us, and we are immersed fully. 

We want to start healing before we have suffered the injury, as though that will make it all easier.

Unfortunately life isn’t like that, is it? 

I am acutely aware that I am going to need to do a lot of journaling and processing of my emotions when my daughter moves to University. I already cry at the thought of it some days. I know that this is the best thing for her though. I know she is ready and she needs that freedom to grown and spread her wings. This is what I have been wanting for her since she was born. What I hadn’t taken into account though is the fact that for her to fly high and live her life, she has to leave me on the ground waiting to see when she will land in my life again. 

I do know one thing for sure though. I have a beautiful new journal waiting to absorb all the tears and the heartache, emotions that I will undoubtedly feel at times. I also have a deep and beautiful knowledge that she is following her dream to be a writer. A dream she has had since she was able to understand what it meant to be an author. I am filled with pride and joy that she is able to follow her heart and have this life changing experience.

It is so often the case that big changes come with a cocktail of emotions, and they aren’t always the ones that you were expecting.

If you have big changes ahead in your life, you can talk to trusted loved ones, you can write about how you are feeling right now, you can do everything in your power to be organised for that change. What you can’t do though, is to begin to process how think you will feel when the change happens, and that is ok. That’s how life should be. You might surprise yourself and deal with it brilliantly. You might experience emotions you weren’t expecting. Whatever happens though, you will get through it and writing it out can be a powerful tool to help you do that.

 

If you would like to learn more about the power of journaling, why not join my journaling group; A little word told me…

 

Find out more about journaling through change:

Are you going through big changes? 

Benefits of journaling

 

Therapeutic writing or writing for business.

by | Aug 8, 2022 | Uncategorised

Therapeutic Writing

When we write for therapeutic reasons (often called journaling), we use a very different style of writing to almost any other form of writing. In this blog I am going to compare journaling with business writing, such as a blog, article, newsletter, or even social media post. 

Writing is a chameleon. How we write changes dramatically depending on the purpose of the writing and the intended audience.

This weekend I learned this lesson the hard way. I have been on holiday with my family for a week and wasn’t officially back at work, but I needed to send an email to the co-working group, that I run with Asha Clearwater, reminding them that we were having a session this afternoon (I am actually writing this during the session). I would normally have scheduled the email well in advance, but we hadn’t decided on a date before I went away. 

 

When we make mistakes we grow

On Saturday, between trying to get on top of the washing, bake and decorate a birthday cake for my Mum’s 70th birthday, and before going to a BBQ at my inlaws house, I attempted to send the email. 

I sat down while the cake was in the oven and quickly tapped out a few lines, using a previous email as a template. I checked the important details and hit send. 

It wasn’t until someone replied to the email that I noticed that I had forgotten to change the email subject line. The first thing everyone saw was a title reading: “Are you joining us to write this morning?”. It wouldn’t have been so bad, but I sent the email in the afternoon. 

I quickly sent out an apology, but, because I was already flustered and dashing about trying to get everything done, I somehow managed to type: Tuesday afternoon instead of Monday afternoon! 

This was brought to my attention by a client who contacted me to check which day it was because she was confused. By now I was stepping out of the door to the BBQ. I quickly replied and explained that it was in fact a Monday session this week before heading over to my in laws for a lovely evening. I had decided now that I should wait until I had more time before contacting everyone again to correct my error.

Writing lessons…

I finally sent an email out this morning with all the right information; dates, times, links etc. I checked and double checked it when I wrote it last night. I knew I was tired after a long drive to Leeds and back and an afternoon of helping my Mum host her birthday party. Despite that, I wasn’t rushing anywhere. I was able to sit, read and re-read, check and double check to make sure everything was as it should be. Which of course, is what I should have done in the first place.

change

It frustrated me most because, generally speaking, I am very careful with my business related copy. As an ex-teacher, I am acutely aware that spelling or typing mistakes, poor grammar, and rooky errors of any kind in your copy, can make all the difference when you are building a relationship using the written word.

However, I also know the importance of being human and being authentic. So I explained exactly what had happened and why, and turned it into a teaching point, just as I am now! You see for a quick note to a friend to arrange to meet up, what I did would have been fine, because that is a very different style of writing, and for a very different purpose. If I had been writing in my journal, for therapeutic reasons, it would have been perfect, but not for a business email. 

 

What is the difference between therapeutic writing and writing for business?

There are several differences between the way we write for business and therapeutic writing. I will go through a few that I believe are the most important. 

 1. Tone/Voice

When you write for business you use a more formal version of your authentic voice. It is important to show personality, but not be too familiar, and to still remain professional, whatever that means for you. When you write therapeutically you just write. You don’t worry about what voice you are using, it is usually your true self who takes control of the pen or pencil. You write without worrying about which words you choose or even whether you are making sense, some of the time. The tone of your writing changes dramatically between the two styles of writing.

Spelling

2. Spelling

When you write for business checking spelling is so important. I can’t tell you how many people I know who click away from a website or unsubscribe from newsletters if there are spelling mistakes. 

When you write therapeutically you don’t worry about spelling or handwriting. It doesn’t even matter if you can’t read back what you have written, because the benefit and purpose of the writing is the process, not the finished product.

3. Punctuation

Use of punctuation is very similar to spelling in this context. When you are writing for business purposes it is so important to check that your punctuation allows the reader to understand your message, as this well known example demonstrates:

Let’s eat Grandpa.

Let’s eat, Grandpa.

One rogue, or missing, comma can completely change the meaning of a sentence and the offer you are making or product you are selling. Just as spelling doesn’t matter when you write therapeutically, neither does grammar. You understand the meaning intended as it spills onto the page and that is the objective and all that matters.

4. Grammar

Grammar completes the magic “Spag” which is such a strong focus in schools. Grammar is of course important when we write for others to read. That said there are many things which seem to go undetected by most people these days, and I do sometimes wonder if I am just a bit of a grammar pendant (the word “myself” seems to have almost completely replace “me” no matter where it appears in the sentence, and don’t get me started on Idris Elba using the word “accommodations” in a recent advert for a holiday provider!). I believe it is still important to use good grammar when writing for business though. Now I’m not going to pretend that my grammar is perfect, it isn’t, but I do try hard and I often check things when I am unsure.

Of course when you are journaling for your own benefit, whether you use good grammar matters as little as whether you spell everything correctly or whether you use punctuation.

5. Finally, Proof reading

Of course this brings us right back to the reason for this post. When you are journaling you can write for hours and never, ever read anything you have written. You are not writing in order to record anything (although you may choose to look back), you are using the writing process as a means of accessing information in your unconscious mind, or working through issues you may be having, or even unraveling a particular situation you are struggling with. When you write for business it is so important to re-read everything to check for meaning, perhaps you need to re-arrange a sentence or even a paragraph. Maybe when you re-read it you realise that you need to add a little more information or re-phrase a section so it reads more easily. And of course it is very important to check that any key information is correct; dates, times, links etc.

 

Do you write for a range of audiences and with different purposes? How does your writing style change? Do you remember to re-read what you have written before you send it or make it live, or are you mostly writing for yourself and it doesn’t matter? Let me know.

Find out more about journaling for exam anxiety:

The power of handwriting

The writing process

 

5 Ways journaling can help you process big changes

by | Jul 4, 2022 | Uncategorised

big changes blog

Changes are inevitable.

We are all constantly growing and changing. We might change job, move house, find a new partner, have a child, decorate a room… whether it is a big change or a small change it can be discombobulating.

Many of us have been going through changes recently and some have been harder to handle than others. I think the global pandemic made us all stop and think about our lives and what our priorities are. As a result some people have made big changes in their lives, or had them forced on them.

I have also been going through a period of change. I was forced to make big changes to my businesses almost a year ago when things out of my control impacted my school business. At the time I thought it was a disaster, but with hindsight it was such a blessing.  

It is so easy to think that set backs are always for the worse, but sometimes they are just a way for the universe to put you back on the right path. Without that enforced change I would never have found the time to look more at my journal therapy work and the joy that brings, not just me, but my clients.

The power of writing

I have always used writing to help me process change and emotions and being able to guide you to do the same has given me so much joy. 

There are so many benefits of writing and taking the time to journal when you are going through a time of change can be a wonderfully healing thing to do. 

Big changes

How does journaling help when you are experiencing changes?

1. Writing down what is happening, helps you to process the events unfurling in your life. When you write things down your brain is able to order and work things out which it may not be able to do when you are just thinking about an issue. When you write in this way your mind works in a different way and you can access new or forgotten facts.

2. Journaling allows you to record the process of change. By writing throughout the process of change you document how your thoughts and feelings around the change evolve and you can look back to see how far you have come.

3. When you journal you are working out any problems too. Often when this change you can hit challenges or issues. By writing throughout you can iron these out along the way rather then them building up to be dealt with later.

4. Journaling keeps you calm. Changes can feel scary. Mostly we like things to stay the same, it is comforting. Change is often necessary though and by journaling through changes you can help yourself stay calm as you move through this transition. Journaling is known to reduce stress and just taking a few minutes to process how you are feeling will help you glide through this time.

5. Journaling helps you discover your true feelings and act on them. When you journal you often make interesting discovering about how you are really feeling about the changes happening. You may think you are scared and discover you are actually excited. 

You may think you are really excited about the changes that are happening and when you journal you may discover that you have a few concerns or apprehensions (it is almost always better to be aware of these as soon as possible). Journaling helps you discover your true thoughts. When you learn how you truly feel you can create a brighter future, one that is totally fulfilling.

 

Journal prompts for times of change

  •  Do you like change or find it challenging? Perhaps you could journal about your beliefs about change.
  • What is holding you back from making other changes in your life right now? 
  • What do you hope to gain from the current changes you are going through? 

Find out more about the benefits of journaling through change:

Your Journal; best friend and therapist

The power of journaling during change 

6 Ways writing things down will change your life

by | Jun 10, 2022 | Uncategorised

6 Ways Writing things down will change your life blog

You don’t have to be a mind reader to know that I am an advocate for the power of writing.

Over the years writing has helped me in so many ways; to stay organised, to remember things, to process difficult feelings and so much more. I write every day. Sometimes it may just be a couple of lines and others it is pages and pages. Like everyone my days are varied and I don’t really have a daily routine so some days I have more time to write than others, but even on the busiest day, I find time to write. 

Why is it so important to me? Well, hopefully once you have read this post you will understand. It grounds me, reminds me and helps me to figure out what is going on in my life. But it is even more than that. Here are the top 6 ways I have found writing has changed my life.

1. Writing helps me remember things

I genuinely don’t know where I would be without my diary, range of notebooks and my to do lists. If I need to remember something I write it down. Not only does that help me to remember whatever it is I have written down, it frees up space in my head for other thoughts. If you don’t make a note of things you need to remember your brain has to keep hold of it and that stops you from being able to process other thoughts, which might be more useful and relevant to your day. If you need to remember something, write it down. It allows your brain to process that information and you often remember it better anyway as it moves to a different part of your memory once it is written down.

2. It creates a record 

Many people keep a diary. Whether it is of upcoming appointments or a record of their day, this is a great way to keep track of what you have done and when. My Dad has kept a daily diary for almost 50 years, and while we may occasionally rib him for it, the number of times he is able to go back and pin point an event for us is incredible. As a result I now keep a simple diary myself in the hope that once day I will be able to do the same for myself and my children.

3. It allows you to process difficult emotions

When you talk things through with a friend or loved one you often have a-ha moments and realisations which would otherwise have remained buried. The same thing happens when you write about an issue. It is also easier to write about really difficult issues than it is to talk about them, which is why traditionally we write or text someone when we have something really difficult to say. Writing it down to yourself allows you to go through the same process though.

4. It gives you insight

When you write things down you access different parts of your brains to when you talk. This allows you to gain deep insights into how you are feeling and discover things about yourself that you may have been totally unaware of until that moment.   Journaling using a prompt can give you solutions to situations you have been struggling work through. By writing and keeping writing when we believe we have nothing more to say, we can often unearth some really deep insights.

change

5. It gives you a sense of achievement

When you write things down consistently over time, you can look back and really see how much progress you have made. It is so easy to think that we haven’t achieved anything, yet in reality we are all learning and growing every single day. Writing things down is a wonderful way to chart that progress and help you acknowledge how much you have really progressed.

6. It helps you commit to things

When you write something down you are much more likely to achieve it or work towards it. If you tell someone you are going to do something, you have committed to it and are more likely to follow through. Likewise if you write a goal or a task down, you have made yourself accountable and you are much more likely to succeed. Research shows that you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals just by writing them down every day. If you want to achieve something grab a pen and paper, whether it is weight loss, promotion or your dream partner, get writing.

Have I convinced you yet?

A daily writing habit has been a game changer for me. I started many years ago and I know that it has helped me to deal with mental health issues, it has helped me to process grief and to heal relationships. It allows me to see my personal development and my professional growth and it gives me a wonderful record of myself in a time capsule. I can look back and discover how I was feeling the night I discovered I was pregnant with my children or how I felt when my Grandma died. I feel very honoured to have this ability, after all, not everyone can write. 773 million adults globally are illiterate.  Even in the UK over 7 million people are described as having poor literacy skills.

I would love to live in a world where everyone had access to books and writing equipment. Where every child was taught to read and write and appreciate the gift that that is. It would make me so happy to know that everyone in the world could benefit from the power of writing the way I have over the years.

If you are reading this, you are one of the lucky ones. Be thankful for your abilities, and take them to the next level with a daily writing habit. If you don’t know how, get in touch or sign up for my newsletter. I include writing prompts and tips and tricks every week to help you become a confident, contented writer. Just complete the form at the bottom of the page.

Find out more about the importance of writing every day:

Why you should write daily

The power of handwriting

 

What are your priorities?

by | May 17, 2022 | Uncategorised

Priorities

Priorities can be a controversial subject…

One person’s priorities, may not be important to another person. We all have things that we make time for, or put first, and our priorities may change many times in a lifetime. 

Recently I have been thinking a lot about priorities and making the right choice over the easy choice. I have made some big changes in my business because it is important to me to be doing what feels right, not necessarily what is easy. There are many things I can do easily, but if I’m not enjoying doing them, then the quality of my life is going to be less than perfect. Quality of life is important to me. It doesn’t matter to me how successful I am if I am unhappy or my loved ones don’t see me. One of those choices is making my family a priority, it always has been.

The last few months have been challenging for my little family, this might be an understatement.

I’ll give you a glipse into the last six weeks: 

  • Covid finally caught up with us at Easter and it took us a while to recover (truthfully I think we still are).
  • My father in law had a stroke. Not a serious one, thankfully but it shook us all up and as my husband works with his Dad, this has caused work stress as well as family worries for him.
  • My daughter is due to start her A levels next week, which would be stressful enough but she was disgnoased with anaemia last week and then started with tonsillitis at the weekend.
  • My son is worrying about his position in his football team and has a few friendship issues.
  • We have had difficult news about a close family friend who is now in end of life care.

This is just the edited highlights (lowlights might be more accurate!). To say it has been an emotionally charged few months would be an understatement. But my priority is always, and has always been, family and loved ones.

I read so much about the importance of consistency in business, and I know that it is important. When you post on social media regularly, blog every week, send out regular newsletters etc that is how your business grows. 

However, I also know that I wouldn’t be being true to myself and my values if I didn’t occasionally have to put my family first. I would not be able to feel good about myself if my business was thriving but my family was falling apart. 

Light at the end of the tunnel

Life is like this sometimes isn’t it? We all go through times when we wonder what else life can throw at us, but we get through it eventually. Sometimes it takes linger than others, but nothing is forever.

I am making sure that I am looking after my own wellbeing and upping my vitamins and self care, because at the moment I feel like the glue that is keeping everything together and functioning.

light at the end of the tunnel

This isn’t a role that is new to me, I cast myself willingly. I am a carer, I can’t help it. I’m good at it too, I would never have said that out loud a few years ago, but I am. You see I care deeply about people. Whether it is a a family member, good friend or client, once I commit to supporting someone they get me 100%. 

For the last few weeks I have been doing essential work and fitting that around the needs of my family. My family have come first though. Fortunately I haven’t had to cancel any meetings or appointments, but if I had to I know my clients would understand because part of the reason they chose me is because of my values, my priorities. I would find it hard to work with people who didn’t understand that sometimes our family commitments have to take priority. 

Your priorities make you who you are!

 

Don’t get me wrong, when I commit to working with you, I will move heaven and earth to be there to support you, not just during our sessions either. But I will do the same for my family and friends and sometimes that might mean I don’t get chance to post on social media for a few days. It might mean that I have to postpone our appointment, only if it is absolutely essential, but I will do it. Equally if something comes up at last minute that is a priority for you, I will be understanding.

This too shall pass

When this emotionally charged time is over, I will be back to dividing my focus between family, work and everything else that is important to me. But for now, my family need slightly more attention than usual, and I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t acknowledge that and make the necessary changes. I am so grateful that my business allows me the flexibility to juggle some jobs to weekends or evenings, or whenever I need to, in order to be there for my loved ones. 

Don’t worry, my physical and mental health is one of my top priorities too, so I am looking after myself as well as caring for everyone else. 

When I work with a professional I look for people with similar values to me. If I have a meeting with someone and they don’t turn up, no email, no call, nothing and when I finally hear from them it is because their child was taken ill and they had to take them to hospital, or their mum had a fall, their best friend’s husband left them last night or even their dog was taken ill, I would respect them even more for having priorities that align with mine. It is so easy to feel annoyed when we are inconvenienced by others, but everyone is human, with crises, emergencies and life events that are unpredictable.

What are your priorities? Do you have more or less respect for someone who puts their loved ones first?

Find out more about what your priorities say about you:

What do your priorities say about you?

What are the top 7 priorities to have in life?

Female friends – Why they are so important

 

How can journaling help with exam stress?

by | May 10, 2022 | Uncategorised

Journaling for exam stress blog

Sitting an exam is incredibly stressful for most people.

Our fight, flight or freeze response can kick in just at the mention of exams and it doesn’t seem to matter how capable we are they send a wave of sickness and fear through us. 

This week is SATs week here in the UK (exams for 7 and 11 year olds) then we are straight into GCSE and A level season. As a teacher I have been on both sides of this horror, believe me it can be just as nerve wracking for the teachers as it is for the students.

How can journaling help? Surely that’s just more writing and there’s enough of that during your exams!

Well, yes, it is writing but it is a very different type of writing. It isn’t essays and long questions, it is free and it allows us to process how we are feeling. We may even solve problems during journaling.

When we journal we actually relax the part of our brain that we need to engage during exams and other forms of writing. We don’t worry about grammar, sentence structure or even spelling, we just allow the words to spill out onto the page. 

By sitting down and allowing the words to just flow onto the page we allow our unconscious brain to process things that our conscious mind can’t. It reduces the tendency towards negative thoughts, which is perhaps the biggest issue during exams, you convince yourself that it isn’t going to go well and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. When you acknowledge your worries and write them down, your brain is able to move on from that fear. In the same way, when we write down our shopping list we are able to stop repeating what we need over and over. 

Want to improve your results? Journal!

When we write about our anxieties and worries, they are automatically eased, in the same way our troubles seem less when we talk to someone. There is so much evidence now though journaling improves mental health, and even physical health (both of which we need to be successful in exams).

Researchers at the University of Chicago found that students who journalled for just ten minutes before an exam, about what was worrying them, improved their results by a whole grade. This is poweful stuff.

 

change

Imagine the different it could make if you allowed yourself ten minutes every day to journal about how you are feeling about your exams. 

Journaling can also help you to stay organised during your exams. You can use your journal to write down things you need to remember to take with you, topics you need to revise and much more. It really is an invaluable tool for all students.

Are you going to take up the journal challenge this exam season? Why would you not want to improve your grades and feel more calm? Just ten minutes a day, you definitely spend more time than that scrolling social media.

Let me know if you do give journaling a go and how it made you feel. 

 

Here are some prompts to get you started:

The thing that worries me about this exam is…

What I am really good at is…

I’m most worried that…

When my exams are over I will…

 

 

Find out more about journaling for exam anxiety:

Benefits of expressive writing in reducing test anxiety

Why your students should journal before a test

Your journal; best friend and therapist

 

Why do you read?

by | May 4, 2022 | Uncategorised

Read

There are so many reasons to read.

We read the instructions on a food packet, the subtitles on a foreign language film, our friends’ social media posts, blogs, newspaper articles, books, magazines… the list is almost endless. 

From the moment we wake up we start reading. 

We read for such a wide range of purposes. Reading helps us to find out how to do things, like the instructions on food packets or an instruction manual. It might educate us about something, in the case of a blog post or newspaper article. We are able to learn about other people through their social media posts or a letter in the post – remember those? We are able to get information from someone we haven’t seen, when we get a note in our child’s school bag from their teacher. There are so many reasons to read.

 

When it comes to books though there are two main reasons most people read a book:

  • to learn something 
  • to experience things you may not be able to otherwise

Did you know there are many other benefits to reading though?

Reading can:

  • improve your vocabulary
  • reduce stress
  • improve brain function
  • help prevents dementia and alzheimers
  • improve your ability to focus
  • improve your general knowledge
  • encourage empathy
  • make you feel more positive
  • help you sleep better
  • improve memory
  • increase your problem solving ability
  • make you a better writer
  • expand your imagination
  • help you escape the stresses of every day life

Of course many of these benefits are associated with reading books, reading a blog on your phone, for example, probably won’t help you sleep. Reading the instructions on a food packets tends to make me think my memory is going rather than improving, if the number of times I have to fish one out of the bin to double check what I have just read is anything to go by!

The question of memory is an interesting one. I’m sure I’m not the only one who can read a book, really enjoy it, but not be able to remember very much about it at all within a matter of months, weeks sometimes!

reading

Does it matter if you can’t remember what your read?

I think the problem is that I have read a lot of books over the years. In the same way I can’t always remember what a film is about, even though I know I’ve seen it. I can’t always remember what happens in a book either. Like most people my memory has sections. I prioritise what I remember. I will remember parents evenings, medical appointments but not often what channel my favourite tv programme is on. I think this is fairly normal. After all, there is a lot to remember in an average day. 

Relax and unwind

Reading definitely helps me sleep…

I do know that reading before bed helps me to sleep though. It also helps me feel much more calm. If I don’t read for a few days I can feel it in my body.

As a parent and ex-teacher, I have also seen first hand, many times, that avid readers have better vocabulary, wider imaginations, write better and spell more accurately. Encouraging children to read is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.

 

Why do you read?

Just stop and think about all the things you have read in the last few days and why you were reading them. I’m sure there will be many reasons you have used reading, including reading this now! Now imagine how different your life would be if you were unable to read or had never been taught to read. This is the reality for many adults in the world. According to the Literacy Trust 16% of adults have poor literacy levels in the UK. According to UNESCO, globally 773 million adults are illiterate globally. That’s a lot of people who are unable to access all the benefits we have already discussed. Take a moment to appreciate your ability to read, whatever reasons you choose to read. Appreciate the person who taught you to read and gave you a passion for words. Reading is a wonderful gift, whether you can remember what happened in that book you read last year, or not. 

Find out more about the benefits of reading:

Benefits of Reading Books

The Power of Story

Your Journal; best friend and therapist

by | Apr 27, 2022 | Uncategorised

journal

Your journal can serve so many purposes. Do you know how to get the best from your journal time though?

There is much talk about journaling these days. There is no doubt that getting my first journal was a life changing moment for me, but what is all the fuss about? Surely it’s just a fancy name for a notebook or diary.

Well, firstly keeping a journal isn’t the same as keeping a diary. A diary is somewhere to record what you have been doing and a journal is so much more than that.

If you haven’t tried journaling, or you have tried it but not really managed to get into it, you might be wondering what the big deal is, but let me tell you, the possibilities are endless and the benefits, numerous.

What are the benefits of journaling?

Journaling has many benefits, both physical and mental. When you journal you access parts of your brain that most people don’t tap into when they are writing. You are able to discover things about yourself that you haven’t been consciously aware of before. You can work through issues, or problems, in a safe space, without judgment.

It is also proven that journaling boosts your immune system and helps you heal quicker from physical injuries. Mind blowing isn’t it? Just by writing for a few minutes every day you could be physically healthier.

Your best friend

When you take the time to sit and write in your journal you can really work through how you feel about a situation or plan without any judgment. It is like sitting chatting to your best friend. You may find that what you write isn’t always what you expected. You might see ideas appear on the page that you hadn’t considered and completely change your mind about something as you debate with yourself the benefits or pitfalls of a situation.

journaling

You might think that as it is only you writing and working through a challenge, that you will always write whatever you want to believe. When you are true to yourself though and practise journaling regularly, you will begin to see other options appearing on the page that you hadn’t previously considered. When we journal we can access our unconscious thoughts as well as our conscious mind. 

The important thing is not to filter what you are writing. Write freely and without worrying about spelling, grammar or content. Just keep writing. If you run out of things to say keep writing something until you think of something else to say. 

therapist

The cheapest therapy you will ever experience…

When you visit a therapist or counsellor, much of the time will be spent with you talking and them listening. This is exactly what you can do in your journal. 

I’m not suggesting that solo journaling is a replacement for therapy, there is still a need for a good therapist at times, but for minor issues a journal is a good starting point. You may even work through a situation enough to get some resolution. Even for bigger issues which do require professional help journaling can be a good starting point for the healing process.

 

When you journal you are able to be more objective about a situation because you feel slightly detached from what you are writing about. It often feels as though you are writing a story about someone else. Provided you feel safe in the knowledge that no-one is going to read what you write without your permission, you can write freely and get any frustration and anger out in the open. You are able to go through all the possibilities in a safe, theoretical way. Often just the process of writing something down allows us to understand it better.

So the next time you feel as though you need to talk something through but you don’t know who to trust. Or perhaps you have a problem that you can’t find a satisfactory solution to, pick up a pen and paper and write it out until it clicks into place or at least starts to. You might be surprised by what you discover when you start to journal regularly. It has been a life changing habit for me. I journal almsot every day. It has helped me with personal challenges, health issues, and business decisions over the years. Give it a go, what have you got to lose?

writing

If you feel that you would like support or guidance with your journal practice, why not join A little word told me…? This wonderfully supportive group is a great place to experiment with journaling and I am on hand to answer any questions and support you as well as providing prompts every week and giving you a dose of inspiration to help you keep writing. Wherever you are in the world you can benefit from this nurturing journaling membership. I would love you to join us.

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