Can being more mindful ease anxiety?

by Kate Beddow | Apr 26, 2021 | Uncategorised

Anxiety is an issue for so many people.

I have wrestled with anxiety on and off my whole life.

It is like the quiet house guest who you forget is living in your house until they become really demanding and spoil your day. Like many

Like many emotional states there are varying degrees of anxiety. For some people it is something which makes them feel sick and as though they don’t want to do something. Others though are completely crippled by its impact on their lives. Anxiety can make it impossible to leave the house, spend time with friends and even get a job. So can something as natural and ancient as mindfulness really help?

The short answer is yes, it really can.

The longer answer needs some science and some techniques, which will hopefully help you if you are struggling with anxiety.

Are you ready? Take a deep breath and let’s dive in!

Let’s get the science out of the way then we can move onto the more fun parts of this longer explanation. When you feel anxious there is a physical change in your body, your breathing becomes more shallow and your heart rate increases. This change is then detected by your brain which sends chemical responses round your body; sending more energy to your heart, lungs and muscles and redirects blood and function to those areas and away from your brain.

This is where things start to get difficult because at this point our ability to think logically and remember all the times we have survived this situation before vanishes. Our brain is incapable of rational thought, problem solving and even recall when we go into this fight, flight or freeze state.

In order to feel more calm and regain this mental function, we must breathe. Sounds simple doesn’t it? Unfortunately our state of mind is causing our breathing to be shallow and fast and unless we consciously change our breathing we will remain in this state and it may even escalate into a full panic attack.

Learning some mindful breathing techniques is a great way to quickly and easily calm yourself when you feel this way. Something as simple as 7:11 breathing (7:11 breathing is simply counting to 7 as you breathe in and 11 as you breathe out) or following a video like this one I created for my Calmer Classrooms programme, can help you to calm down really quickly. The advantage of many breathing techniques is that you can do them without anyone being aware that you are implementing a life changing strategy.

Prevention not cure

These techniques are great when you are already in the grips of an anxious episode, but the real magic of mindfulness is that it can help prevent you from reaching that point.

Mindfulness is the process of being present, being in the moment, being reflective. It helps us to appreciate what we have and doesn’t worry about what will be. It teaches us to focus on the task in hand and deal with what is coming when it arrives. Given that anxiety is effectively a fear of the future, of what might happen, just by shifting your focus to what is happening you are reducing your ability to feel anxious. Given that research has proven time and time again that as little as 9% of our worries actually come true, that means that up to 91% of our worries are actually worth worrying about.

Mindful journaling

Another mindful activity which can really help with anxiety is journaling. The process of writing everything down that pops into your head allows you to process the thoughts more easily and often see the reality of the spiral you have got yourself into. Just buy yourself a notebook and take time every day to just write until you have no more thoughts left. Don’t think about what you are writing, just whatever comes into your head – write it down.

This process also helps you to see how infrequently our fears become reality. The other really useful activity is a gratitude practice. Writing down every day all the things you are grateful for. This helps to train your brain to look at the positives in your life rather than the negative, worrying thoughts. Once you realise how fortunate you are, you have a roof over your head, clean water to drink and clothes to keep you warm, you will worry less about what might be, but in all likelihood, won’t ever happen.

Mindful movement…

Living mindfully is also about listening to your body. Mindfully moving when we need to, and we do need to. Particularly if you are an anxious person making sure you get enough exercise is vital. When we exercise our body can process all the stress chemicals our body releases when we worry, so just going for a walk if you start to feel anxious, will instantly calm you down. It doesn’t have to be strenuous movement, just movement. You can dance in your kitchen, take the dog for a walk or do a spin class, just move! In addition to the checmical impact movement will have on your anxiety, moving will change your state and allow your brain to start seeing the situation differently. You will begin to process the information you are working through in a more effective and calm way and you will feel so much better.

Get outside, take a big deep breath of fresh and and move that body!

If anxiety is an issue for you, or a loved one, start small. Implement small daily changes and begin to see how these little changes can have a huge impact on your reactions and how you deal with situation. You can get through this.

I have, and still do. One day at a time.

For lots more mindful ideas to fit into your daily routine check out my article: Every day mindfulness or why not download my free ebook: You’ve Got This for lots of easy to implement mindful ideas.

Jumping into June!

by Kate Beddow | Jun 1, 2020 | Mindfulness

It’s June!

I’m not sure many of us quite understand how that has happened this year, but the calendar says it’s June so it must be true.

Almost half way through the year and we have spent nearly a quarter of that time in a very strange alternate reality.

Many of us around the world have been in lockdown, or at least with restrictions on our behaviour and movement for a large percentage of the year so far. It is a very strange time to be alive and certainly one we will never forget.

Here in the UK we are just starting our 11th week of lockdown, and the conditions are beginning to ease but many people, including the scientists, have their concerns about that. Who knows how long life will continue like this but one thing I do know is that it’s June!

It’s June and I have been juggling running my businesses with running online classes, seeing clients via Zoom, home schooling my son and everything else I usually juggle, since March now.

That’s a long time!

Have I kept my head in the game all the time? – nope!

Have I lost whole weeks sometimes? – yup!

There have been weeks where I have been incredibly productive. Where I have got loads of work done, helped my son with his school work, worked in the garden, baked scones, crocheted gifts, rearranged kitchen cupboards and completed online courses and smiled the whole way through.

There have also been weeks when I have got to Friday and wondered what happened!

That’s normal.

We are in the middle of a global pandemic.

Some people will handle their stress by being busy all the time and by being very productive. Others will be handling it by eating their body weight in crisps and watching every series Netflix has to offer.

There is no right way to do this. We certainly haven’t been taught the best way to handle a pandemic lockdown.

As you know, I am generally a very positive person. I always see the silver lining or the lesson in everything and I can see many positives coming out of this situation. But I am also fearful of the negative behaviour I have seen from some of our world leaders. I can feel the anxiety and fear increasing globally and it scares me a little sometimes.

However, I will not allow myself to dwell in those thoughts for long, because now, more than ever, we need to shine our light and be an example of love and compassion to the world.

My response

I have been finishing a course I began before lockdown the last few weeks and one of the things covered was the Psychological Phases of Crises and I decided they were worth sharing with you here.

The 3 Psychological Phases of Crises

1. Emergency – we have shared goals, there is a sense of urgency which makes us work together, we feel energised, focused and even positive.

2. Regression – We are increasingly aware that the future is no uncertain, we lose all sense of purpose, we are tired, irritable, withdrawn and less productive.

3. Recovery – We begin to resurface, we revise our expectations and goals, even our roles. We begin to focus on getting by and moving on.

I have definitely been through these stages myself during this pandemic. I’m sure you will identify them yourself if you take the time to stop and think about your experiences.

One of the best decisions I made at the start of lockdown was to start writing a diary. I have always written my Gratitude Diary (writing down 10 things I am thankful for every night before I go to sleep), but this is a proper journal. I sit for a few minutes before I sleep every night and I write everything from what I have done during the day to how I am feeling and anything that might be concerning me about the current situation.

“Show up. Shine. Let it go.”

Danielle La Porte

Author

It has been a very helpful therapeutic tool, I often recommend clients keep a diary of their thoughts and feelings as it is such a useful way of accessing your deeper emotions. It has also helped me to keep track of events during this time too though, and I know it will be really interesting to look back in in years to come.

Eleven weeks.

Eleven weeks of a new reality, which I have to admit I am enjoying immensely in parts. But also eleven weeks of a slightly wishy washy approach to life. I have let my diet slip (not too far, but further than I would like). I am exercising in a sporadic, “when the mood takes me” way. I have been working some days and not at all others. Weekends slide through the week and the promise of a Zoom with my loved ones is enough to make me abandon almost any plan I already had.

I’ve had enough!

I’ve had enough of free falling and seeing where the wind takes me. It is time to get some preper structure back into my days and to get really productive again. Today is the 1st June and that seems like the perfect day to start my new regime.

This morning I woke up, (admittedly later than I would on a normal school morning, but I don’t have to spend an hour doing the school run so that’s not too bad!) and I immediately went downstairs and did half an hour of yoga. I worked solidly in my office all morning, including my mastermind group Zoom which really helped fire me up.

I had lunch with my family (one of the many things I am really appreciating about lockdown), then I came straight back in my office to spend the afternoon scheduling calls and writing this post.

I am making a gf/df quiche for tea with salad and I will either go for a walk or get on my rowing machine after that. Then this evening is my online Meditation Group (Lockdown Meditation Sessions you can sign up and join us every Monday evening, it’s completely free!).

You see I have decided that this free falling has to end, so it will. That’s how powerful our mind is when it is really determined. I can be quite stubborn when I want to be (ask my family!) but that comes in really handy when I need to make. change. I like to have a start date and am really motivated by routine so I think this will prove really helpful.

Will I beat myself up if I don’t get up for yoga every morning? – no!

Will there be days when I don’t eat as healthily as I would like? – definitely!

But as long as I achieve the 80-20 balance then I will be winning.

I am also taking part in a social media challenge this month where I have to post an image relating to a particular aspect of my business every day, so that will help keep me motivated. If you would like to follow my progress you can follow me here:

My challenge to you this June

1. Take time to sit with your emotions and really get clear on how you are feeling right now. Perhaps you have been treating yourself to a few more biscuits than usual and although you are enjoying them, the side effects are making you sluggish, tired and you aren’t happy with how you are feeling. Maybe you are just really missing your loved ones and you need to call them or go round for a socially distanced cuppa. However you are feeling, embrace it and listen to the message it is giving you.

2. Create an affirmation around how you are feeling. An affirmation is a positive statement in the present tense that you can carry with you to really deepen the message you need to take from these learnings.

So you might choose;

I make healthy choices and my body looks and feels amazing.

I am energised and motivated to be productive each and every day.

I take the time to connect with my loved ones every day.

Whatever it is that you need to work on, create an affirmation as though it is already reality.

3. Get moving. Now, you know how you are feeling and what you need go for a walk, dance round the kitchen or just pace round your garden barefoot and really embed that message. Repeat your affirmation to yourself as you walk or dance. Repeat is when you are getting ready to sleep and repeat it every morning as you wake up.

4. Be gentle with yourself. Remember these are difficult times for everyone. We are all digging deep into our mental reserves right now. Get up and do your best, but if you really, really can’t do it today, then, unless you have to, don’t do it. Give yourself a break.

5. Keep your sources positive. What do I mean by that? I mean be careful what you read. Be careful who you talk to. Be aware of how much news you are watching/reading. If you watch every update and constantly scroll through social media it will zap your energy quicker ran running a marathon in this heat. Keep the things you allow into your body positive. Thoughts and feelings are energy which feed your body just as much as food and water. Make sure you don’t expose your body to too much junk food/ junk thoughts.

Finally, I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you, yes you! We are living through an experience that noone has really ever lived through on this scale before. We have legitimate fears for our health, financial security, for the future generally, but we are all making decisions based on what benefits the collective good.

That is amazing.

You are amazing

Thank you x

Related Blogs:

We need a hero

Mental health and the Coronavirus

Hero or Shero

by Kate Beddow | Jan 14, 2020 | Mindfulness

Is there such a thing as a Shero?

I keep hearing people talking about being a hero or shero. I had never heard the word hero until a few months ago. Is it a necessary word?

Before I start this blog I want to make it clear that I believe in equality. I believe men and women are equal, that they have strengths and weaknesses and that for the most part they complement each other. I also believe that throughout time women have been dominated by the patriarchy. Intelligent, opinionated women have been branded as witches, crazy and trouble causers.

History really has been His-story.

When we think about the key characters from the past there are very few women.

As a teacher I loved to highlight women in history but they weren’t included in the curriculum when I was teaching.

I have been trying to think how many women I learned about at school, or indeed taught about at school, this is the list I could recall: Boudica, Florence Nightingale, Cleopatra, Elizabeth I, Anne Frank and the wives of Henry VIII (who, as anyone who has seen the musical SIX will know, are only famous for being married to a king and we know very little about as women).

I can’t even begin to list all the men we learn about.

Does this mean that women haven’t contributed anything to our advancement?

Absolutely not.

The woman pictured above is Hedy Lamarr. She was a beautiful actress. She was also an incredible scientist who developed a radio guidance system without which we may never have developed bluetooth or wifi technologies. She died in 2000 and wasn’t recognised for her contributions to science until she was inducted into the National Inventors Hall of Fame in 2014.

The film “Hidden Figures” highlighted the story of the the female mathematicians and engineers working at NASA in the 1960s without whom the moon landing may never have happened.

There are countless examples of women having a massive impact but many we are only just learning about now as people sign deep into history to unearth these amazing contributors.

We need to be teaching our children and ourselves, about these key female figures. Young girls need to be shown these role models to help them to see that they can achieve anything boys can. This article from The Guardian in 2017 shows that we may be making headway in the equality stakes but we still have a long way to go.

We have to show our girls and young women that they have just as many opportunities and they are equal to their male counterparts. However, equality is what I would love to see achieved. I don’t want women to have a greater chance of getting a job, being paid more etc, just to be given the same chances a man would.

Equally I don’t feel that words which are coming into common usage such as “Shero” and “Herstory” are necessary. I can see how the words hero and history can be seen to be male focused but creating another feminine equivalent seems unnecessary. Let’s just claim the words as our own. The same way we now have actors rather than actors and actresses. Let’s just have heroes and know that women can definitely be heroes. Let’s start discovering more women who had an impact historically. Let’s learn more about people like Anne Boleyn and make them real women with personalities, hopes and dreams, not just “wife of Henry VIII”.

Most importantly, let’s make sure that future history books are filled with women doing amazing things. Women inventing things, changing the world for the better.

We don’t need men to stop achieving, to step back. We have always been equal in reality. Working together is the answer. Helping each other, supporting each other. Men and women can change the world for the better, together. They can be paid the same amount for doing the same job. They can be given equal opportunities, equal benefits. Men should be able to take extended paternity leave, they should be able to go home if their kids are sent home from school ill, just as women do. It should be up to the individual family to decide who takes on these roles, not some ancient belief.

The right to choose

It is all about choice. We have to stop shaming women for not being ambitious too. Choosing to stay at home and care for your children is just as challenging and valuable as going out and earning a fortune or inventing something life changing. We all deserve to be happy. To make our own decisions. All we need is for the world to provide equal opportunities for everyone; male, female, old, young, black, white, artistic, scientific…

We are all people. We all have a role to play. We change the world every single day, just by being in it. We impact others every day.

Whether we are heroes because we visit an elderly neighbour, or because we discover a cure to a terrible disease, we are all heroes. Whether you are happy with being a hero or shero. If you like to be an entrepreneur or a mumpreneur. Whether you are happier reading History or Herstory.

Be yourself.

Be the best you that you can be.

Be your own hero or shero but be happy.

Other blogs you might enjoy:

Be the hero of your own story

What could you achieve?

Time to Shine

The Benefits of Singing

by Kate Beddow | Jan 6, 2020 | Mindfulness

Singing is good for you.

I know, it might sound ridiculous but when I read a study a few years ago that actually stated that singing can even prolong your life, I wasn’t even a little surprised.

I have been singing all my life. I could have written the Abba song “Thank you for the Music” I think I was singing before I could talk. I love it. As a child I sang all the time. As a teenager I sang to pop songs, I was in the choir at school and I was always in the school productions (which at our school were always musicals).

If I was happy I sang, if I was stressed I sang, feeling lonely, sing and I never get on a dance floor without singing along to whatever I’m dancing to. I’ve even been known to sing along to theatre shows!

Why is it so good for you?

Well, there are many biological factors at play. We know that one of the best ways to calm our nervous system is to control our breathing, this reduces the production of cortisol and calms us down. In order to sing we have to regulate our breathing, even slow it down. So it is physically very calming.

It is an incredibly mindful activity. It is very difficult to sing and be thinking about other things. We have to be completely present and concentrate on the words and tune we are singing.

Socially it lifts our spirits to sing with other people. It builds a sense of community and belonging. We even synchronise our heartbeats with others when we sing together. It builds our confidence. When we sing we release endorphins that help us feel positive and boosts our energy levels. The more we sing the more we want to sing.

Singing even boosts your immune system!

By calming our body through singing we strengthen our immunity and we are less likely to become ill. Not just that but it reduces pain.

By singing regularly you not only strengthen your lungs but also your heart health is improved. This is another reason I have always done a lot of singing because I am asthmatic and it really helps by breathing.

There has even been research done which proves that people who sing regularly have better balance and posture!

Are you starting to see how dramatically singing could change your life?

“In studies conducted with people suffering chronic pain, singing has been shown to alleviate the pain symptoms for not just immediately afterward but for up to 6 months later. The studies have also shown that singing could have a real impact on the amount of pain relief medication used by participants.”

Sing Up Foundation

Singing has been shown to be really beneficial for people with alzheimers. It improves your circulation, increases the amount of oxygen in your blood and improves your mental alertness, concentration and memory.

But I can’t sing!

Who cares? I know it’s easy for me to say. I’m not even going to pretend that I can’t sing, I have done a lot of singing in my life, and people seem to quite like listening to me for the most part. I feel very fortunate but I have had my own struggles though. My acromegaly means that my throat tissues can become enlarged and when I was really ill before my surgery I couldn’t sing and it made me really depressed. When I say I couldn’t sing, I don’t mean it wasn’t good, I mean it was physically difficult. But it isn’t about performing. It isn’t about being a singer. It is about singing for health and enjoyment. You don’t look beautiful and composed when you go to the gym or take part in sport, but you feel better afterwards and your body and mind are healthier. It’s time to start seeing singing the same way.

There are lots of opportunities to sing whether you believe you can sing or not. You don’t have to join a choir or singing group (although if you can I can highly recommend it!). Why not sing in the car when you are traveling alone? Sing in the shower, while you are cooking, put the radio on and sing while you are cleaning. I sing while I work in my office a lot (apart from when I’m writing because then I write what I’m singing instead of what I should be writing!). I also sing while I’m on my rowing machine. It passes the time and that way I am getting even more exercise.

If you don’t like listening to yourself sing turn the music right up. But I’m fairly certain that your singing is no where near as bad as you believe it is!

In summary

Singing is good for you because it:

calms you down

boosts your immune system

improves your memory

benefits your heart and lung health increases your confidence

can help with alzheimers

improves balance and posture

reduces pain

helps you to be more mindful

I’m even going to be brave and upload a song I have sang at weddings recently. I believe in walking my talk and if I am going to encourage you to sing, I should be brave enough to let you hear me sing. I would love to hear your singing and your stories about how singing has helped you.

A Thousand Years

by Kate Beddow

Have Yourself a Mindful Little Christmas

by Kate Beddow | Nov 25, 2019 | Mindfulness

Could having a mindful Christmas really be the answer to holiday stress?

Christmas time can be so stressful. There are food preparations, gifts to wrap, cards to write, social occasions, friends to visit, family to visit, traditions to be remembered, the list seems endless.

Add to that the pressure for everything to be “perfect” and it can be a really toxic combination or stress, guilt, financial worries and emotional exhaustion. We all want magical memories of Christmas, particularly for our loved ones, but all too often we are too stressed and exhausted to be able to remember anything let alone enjoy it.

How can mindfulness help?

I’m sure many of you are nodding with a deep understanding about the stresses of Christmas. How can mindfulness help though?

Well, by staying calm and in the present it can help you to lower your physical stress levels as well as feeling more present and organised.

When we are busy and there are lots of things to think about it is easy to be constantly living in our heads. Constant streams of; “I must remember to…” can be distracting and not always as productive as we might try to convince ourselves.

My top mindfulness tips for a calm and happy Christmas

Be organised

When we are organised and feel on top of things we always feel more calm. Deal with things as soon as you can and make lists for everything to make sure you don’t forget everything. By writing them down you don’t have to keep them going round and round in your head.

Preparation is key

Do as much in advance as you can. There are so many things you can get done really early so that you aren’t dashing round at last minute. Get your veggies parboiled and in the freezer. Wrap your presents as soon as you can. Whatever you need to get done do it as soon as possible.

Let go of the myth of perfection

We all want our memories of Christmas to be greeting card perfection but in reality we are all just human. Often it is the imperfect that makes the day special. You don’t have to have an instagram worthy breakfast, have some toast so you can sit and enjoy watching your children open their presents. Realistically something will happen that will ruffle your feathers; you will forget one of the veg, misplace a present, drop the Christmas pudding, whatever it is you will survive.

Breathe

It doesn’t matter what I am talking about, when it comes to feeling in control and calm breathing properly is always my top tip! When you breathe slowly and in a controlled way your brain knows that there is no need to worry and it begins to calm your whole body. Even just a couple of minutes breathing in time to this little video is enough to calm your mind and body.

Find the Write Time

Taking time to journal is a wonderful way to release any tension that may be building up over the festive period. Whether it is writing a to do list so you don’t forget all those important tasks, or having a written rant about something or someone. Writing things down helps us to process them and it is really good for your wellbeing. Grab yourself a notebook and get writing, you won’t be sorry!

Mindful Drinking

Why not try making a hot drink and really taking the time to explore all the effects it has on your senses? Watch as the hot water mixes with the dry ingredients. See the steam swirl out of the mug. Smell the aroma. Feel the steam hit your face. Then take a sip and really taste it. Feel how warm and comforting it is as it flows down your throat and into your stomach. Really take the time to savour each mouthful and enjoy some quiet time.

Quiet moments

During the big day, try to find little pockets of calm. Even if it is just stirring the custard or making a coffee. If you can manage a quiet half hour with a book or a quiet walk with the dog, even better.

Remember, these festive days are for everyone to enjoy. You are allowed to relax and enjoy the day too.

If you want to learn more mindful tricks to help you have a wonderfully mindful Christmas why not sign up for my Mindful Journaling Advent Calendar? Everyday you will be given some inspiration, wellbeing tips, journal prompts and much more to help you glide effortlessly into Christmas.

If you need someone to talk to over Christmas please know that there is always a listening ear at the Samaritans they do incredible work. You are never alone. I may not check my emails as often over the holidays but I do check them every day and will always be there for anyone who needs a listening ear.

Other blogs you may find interesting:

Time for a change

Why you need to start practising mindfulness